Boys of Summer
by FearlessDranzer
Summary: Sora is in love with his older brother's boyfriend. But he's tired of being just 'little Sora'. He's going to get what he wants with the help of his friends and twin brother, Roxas. Riku won't know what hit him. SoraXRiku AxelXRoxas Complete
1. Summer's Reach

Boys Of Summer

By - FearlessDranzer

_Nobody on the road  
Nobody on the beach  
I feel it in the air  
The summer's out of reach  
Empty lake, empty streets  
The sun goes down alone  
I'm drivin' by your house  
Though I know you're not at home_

Chapter 1 - Summer's Reach

Oh jeez! He's here! For Christ sake why today? I'm still in my pajamas, haven't brushed my teeth or my hair… I mean come on! Murphy's Law. Screw Murphy's Law! Fuck that shit!

Come on, he's coming in the kitchen now? Since when has he come in the kitchen!?

Uh-Oh, here he is. Act cool Sora, just eat your cereal and don't talk! Any time you talk you manage to screw everything up.

"Hey Sora. How's it going?" NO! Save me cereal!

I shrug my shoulder and keep staring at my cereal, trying to hide the blush from my face. My insides are all tight; they're always like that when _he_'s here. I don't really get what happened next but I kept eating my cereal and ignoring him, but he sat down right across from me at the table.

That bastard! The nerve! At my very own table! Don't even get me started.

I'll explain some things to make this easier to understand. I'm Sora Heart. I have an older brother named Cloud who is a high school senior (just graduated), and an older twin brother named Roxas. We all have similar hair shape (except for when Roxas has his gelled differently) and eyes. Not me, I have brown spiky hair, and gray blue eyes not cerulean. Even my mother looks nothing like me, she's also blonde haired and blue eyed. So as you can probably guess, I get hell. I am the average brother, always hidden behind the other two.

I wasn't the cutest, most exotic, tallest, smartest or athletic. I'm nothing. I can play guitar, but I'm mediocre at best. I was my father's favorite, but he's dead now. So honestly, I have nothing going for me. I don't stand out in anyway. And that's why right now, my life sucks.

Do you want to know why?

I'm in love with my big brother's boyfriend.

Obsessed, infatuated, those will work too.

I want him so badly it hurts. I can't sleep anymore or eat without thinking about him. I daydream about him all the time and I love every goddamned minute of it. Whether it's sex on the beach or in Cloud's bed or just eating ice cream, every minute is bliss. It's making me go crazy just thinking about the daydreams.

OK, you might call this crazy or a sick obsession or maybe even puppy love but let me tell you something.

I'm tired of being 'my little brother Sora'; I'm going to crush Cloud. I will get Riku. If he just comes around he'll love me like I love him.

I'm not going to give up on this or let Cloud win. For once I'm going to do something for myself and get what I want. And I want Riku. Is any of this creepin' you out? Good. I'm not usually like this.

The first step in stealing Riku away is to make him notice me. And the only way he'll notice me is if I start to flirt or something… OK so I'm not sure how to get his attention. That's why I'm going to tell Kairi. I'm going to tell her everything and I know she'll understand. She has to right?

But back to the present situation. The sex god himself was sitting at my kitchen table. And he was staring at me. Staring at me! Maybe I should look up at him? I can't I'm too nervous!

Feet came padding down the hallway and I looked up to see Roxas. Thank god its just Roxas. If it were Cloud I'd probably kill myself. My twin knows me really well or at least he thinks he does. He's gay too, just like my big brother Cloud. And just like Cloud he has a boyfriend, Axel. He's gorgeous too but he's nothing compared to Riku.

"Hey Riku! What's up?" Roxas pulled out the chair next to mine and sat down, that means he's sitting to the left of Riku. Yes, I do notice those things.

"Nothing, just waiting for your lazy bum of a brother to get his ass down here." Riku leaned back in his chair and shifted his attention over to Roxas. This meant I could now stare at him unnoticed! Yes! Nice one Roxas.

"He's probably not even awake, ten o'clock on a Saturday morning… he doesn't get up till at least one." Roxas replied staring at his own reflection in the table glass, trying to fix his hair. Unlike Cloud, and mine all his spikes are gelled to the right, to give him that dumb emo hair.

"Nah, I called him earlier and woke him up. He can't get back to sleep after he's woken up." I wanted to yell out 'How do you know? Have you slept with him?' Some how I held it in. "We were supposed to be at the beach this morning, an hour ago. I guess not. Cloud you're such an ass." Riku groaned. I know for a fact how much Riku adores the ocean; he can't stay away from it.

"I wish you wouldn't talk about my ass in from of Roxas and little Sora. You might hurt their poor virgin minds." Cloud said in sultry voice as he slipped into the room. He sat down on Riku's lap and kissed his lips with an audible smack.

I wanted to strangle something, but I settled for stabbing my Lucky Charms instead.

Roxas mumbled under his breath. "We know who's not a virgin here." Sora knew this wasn't a jab at him but at their older brother, Cloud, who had a reputation for sleeping around.

"You're right, we do you little whore." Cloud replied. Cloud may have a reputation but we all knew Roxas had sex with Axel when he was fourteen. Roxas sneered at Cloud and Cloud only smirked back, happy for such a reaction. "So that means the only real virgin here is poor little Sora. He's a virgin in every sense of the word."

Now it was personal. Roxas could handle his own and didn't like me interfering in his fights, but my fights with Cloud were never so… heroic. Cloud liked to see me cry. But Riku was here and I wouldn't let him see me cry. "You've never been kissed right Sora? Or had a boyfriend or girlfriend. And you've never been fu--" I punched that fucking bastard square in the jaw. Hurt my hand bad in the process too. I don't even remember getting up and running over to where he sat on Riku's lap.

He'd had it coming to him but I knew in an instant that I had just crossed the line. I punched him in his face in front of his sexy-as-hell boyfriend. It was a bad thing to do even without the boyfriend there; I was in trouble.

I turned around and ran. I'm pretty short, only five foot seven, compared to Cloud's six foot two, I was screwed. I got as far as the living room before I was caught. Damn these small strides and enclosed spaces. He grabbed me by the legs, pulling them out from underneath me and I went down heavy. I smacked my chin against the ground with a bone-jarring thud and I was in shock for a moment before I made a grab for the table.

I tried to pull myself away but he grabbed me by the belt loops and hauled be back. He pulled me back and had his arm raised to hit me and someone grabbed his arm. I'll tell you the truth, with all my heart I wished it were Riku who had grabbed his arm, but it was Roxas instead. Roxas came to my rescue and I'm happy about that but…

A pair of strong arms hauled me away and picked me up. I was cradled close to a chest and then I was leaned back against the couch. This time I knew it was Riku.

Oh my hero! You may kiss the Princess now! But I was in too much of a daze to do too much kissing.

Riku had his face in mine and he was waving a hand at Roxas. "Roxas, I don't think your brother's feeling too good. He looks out of it."

"For Christ sake Cloud, act your own age." Roxas said as he pushed Cloud away and went over to look at me.

Riku was staring at me really hard and I started to think about kissing those lips of his. And I was starting to feel some reaction from all my daydreaming. Shit. I need to get out of here.

I jumped up and pushed Riku away, I swayed a little, I was still slightly out of it and I ran out the front door. I didn't stop till halfway down the block when I rounded the corner. I heard Roxas yelling after me but I didn't yell back. I just kept on walking.

It was horribly warm out yet I still shivered at the thought of Riku's hands on my body. I felt my jaw where it had hit the floor, it was pretty sore and slightly swollen but it probably wouldn't bruise. I pulled up my pants too cause they were hanging pretty low from Cloud's yanking, either way they were pretty low. They were Roxas' and his shorts were bigger than mine. He had girl hips.

And he had a strange fashion sense, he's dating the king of punks at Destiny High and yet he dresses in all Hollister. How in the world did Axel meet him? Well apparently they like the same bands, go figure.

The shorts I stole from his draw were plaid Hollister shorts that were so low on my hips they showed my blue boxers. The shirt was actually mine, an old Ataris t-shirt. It was tight on me but not skin tight, just enough to show off my chest. Not that there was too much to show off. I had an old pair of Vans on they were black and white checkers but so dirty that the white was yellow. I still love them though. And I had a necklace Kairi made for me out of shells.

My fashion sense is like a mix between my brothers, Hollister meets Hot Topic. Cloud loves leather, and it looks hot on him but not so nice on me. It would probably be drop dead sexy on Roxas but he refuses to wear leather. But I can say that I have found some leather pants in his draw that are definitely not his size… more like Axel's. I tend to wear a mix of both, stealing whatever clothes fit me.

Anyway, Kairi doesn't live that far from me, about ten houses down, two away from Tidus and next door to Riku, the love of my life. I walked up the front walk, my head too lost in its own thoughts to pay attention to how beautiful the days was.

I rang the doorbell and Kairi's mom answered. She's the perfect mother; aging gracefully and always knows how to make someone comfortable. She seems to understand the type of relationship Kairi and I have. I love her, but only as a sister.

She sent me upstairs to Kairi's room and asked me if I was going to stay for lunch, I answered her honestly and said I didn't know. As was my custom, I knocked on Kairi's door and opened it before she could even say anything.

She looked up not at all surprised to see me here. "What took you so long to get up here silly?"

She must have recognized the look on my face or maybe she just understood the mood I was in. "What's the matter Sora?" She closed her magazine and sat up, patting the bed and motioning that I should sit next to her.

I did and just sat there for a while staring at my hands. She sat there too staring up at her ceiling.

"Kairi…?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in love with Riku."

She looked over at me in shock. And I hid my face in my hands ready to have her yell 'faggot' at me among other things.

"Isn't that Cloud's boyfriend?"

Wait. So she's shock that I'm in love with my older brother's boyfriend and not at the fact that I just said I was gay. Bizarre. I rolled over onto my back and uncovered my face. "Yeah."

"Sora, I'm glad you've told me thi--" Kairi was cut off mid-sentence when Tidus came barreling out of her closet.

"Dude! Why didn't you tell me this? I thought we were friends? Not that I hadn't already guessed or anything…." Tidus fumed, his arms crossed and his head cocked to one side.

"Wait, you guessed that Sora liked Riku?"

"No, Kairi! I guessed he was gay."

"You didn't guess that! I told you that's what I thought!"

"Same difference."

"No it's not!"

"Wait-- Kairi you told Tidus you thought I was gay?"

"You know what Kairi? Your mom! That's what."

"Ok-- Tidus stop acting immature, Sora yes I told him I thought you were. I'm sorry; I didn't mean it in an offensive way. It was kind of like a hypothesis in chemistry. It was just a guess."

"It's OK Kairi, I'm not really made at you."

"Speak for yourself Sora!"

"So you guys are cool with it? You aren't freaked out or anything?"

Kairi smiled, "We've had a while to get used to it between you and your brothers."

Tidus jumped at me and straddled my waist giving me a nuggie. "It's cool Sora."

Kairi pushed Tidus off me and held me in a tight hug that Tidus also joined. "Gay moment!" He yelled. And I couldn't help but look at him and laugh. He was so accepting and unbiased towards me that I was surprised. Sure I'd never asked him on his opinion or anything and wasn't really planning on telling him but…

"So, Sora did you ever think I was cute?" Tidus asked.

Kairi hit him on the head and I answered him truthfully. "I think you're about as cute as I think Cloud is smart."

"Oh that was cold Sora."

Kairi ignore Tidus and gave me a reassuring smile. "But why are you telling me this now?"

I shifted my hands and stared at them even as I couldn't keep the blush off my face. "Well, I told you. I really like Riku. I mean _really_ like."

"Does Roxas know?" She asked.

"I'm not sure."

"What about Cloud?" Tidus added in.

"No, thank god. I'd probably be dead by now."

"Most likely."

"Thanks Tidus. Anyway, I was hoping you guys could help me…"

"Help you make him fall in love with you?" Kairi exclaimed jumping at the chance.

"Um… yeah." I said, my blush grew even more pronounced against my tan skin.

"Alright! This is going to be awesome! We'll start right now! What do you think?"

"I don't think it's going to work."

"Tidus you jackass! Shut up! He didn't mean it Sora."

"No, I think he's right. I don't think Riku would ever leave Cloud for me. I'm just not good enough." I sighed.

"No Sora! Don't think that. You can definitely win him over. Come on look at you! You're a cute boy with a really nice personality."

"Yeah Sora, you have a nicer personality than your brother for sure."

"And a really nice ass!"

"Oh… um thank you?"

"We're going to use that nice ass to our advantage!"

"Oh god please stop talking about his ass. It's seriously freaking me out."

"Stop complaining Tidus!" Kairi reprimanded. "Now, like I said before, we're going to start right away. Isn't there a party going on at Leon's house tonight?"

"Yeah." Tidus replied.

"I don't think Cloud knows a Leon."

"Trust me Cloud knows Leon. And he and Riku will be at that party tonight. Leon's parties are infamous and Cloud wouldn't miss one for his life. So we're going to that party tonight."

"Wait, Kai we can't get in, it's for seniors only." Tidus moaned.

"That doesn't mean we can't crash it right Sora?"

"Umm.. I guess not. Axel and Roxas will probably go…"

"So what? Admit it Roxas probably already knows, he knows you better than you know yourself!"

"I'm gunna have to agree with Kai on that one Sora."

"Ok already! So we'll go to the party tonight. But what are we going to do to get Riku's attention? This'll never work…"

"Well duh! We've got to dress you so you catch his eye! We'll probably have something that'll look good."

"He won't fit in my clothes, he's too tiny."

"There's always mine!"

"Oh Jesus."

It took us about three hours but we finally found an outfit that would work. But we still had hours to kill till the party at eight. So we picked out Tidus' outfit. Because apparently according to Kairi he was going to have to be eye catching too. Yeah, I'm just as worried as you are.

Kairi sent us both home to shower and have dinner and all that great crap, which is why I'm climbing the tree in the back of my house. I will not take the risk that Riku and or Cloud will catch me when I come n the door.

I pulled myself up to the middle branches, level with my second floor bedroom window, and worked my way to the end of branch to the window. I leaned over and carefully kept my balance with my insane ninja skills. Then I lifted up the never-locked-window and grabbed a hold of the sill.

I swung myself over and managed to pull myself in with a lot of work.

"You're back"

"Oh Shit."

"No, it's just me." Roxas said.

I just sat on the floor below the window and glared at him.

"Ok, so I didn't exactly stick up for you back there and I'm sorry. I didn't know it would go so far. But I should have figured considering Riku was there."

"What would Riku have anything to do with it?"

"Besides the fact that you're obsessed with him?"

"I'm not ob--"

"Don't lie to me. Anyone who knows you well enough would know how you feel. You never talk around him, are never in the same room as him and you never look at him. You're never shy when it comes to people. And Riku, you can't even look in the face." Roxas replied, sitting down next to me.

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Not to Cloud or Riku. Everyone just thinks you don't care for Riku. But I know."

"What do you think?"

"I think if you want it you should take it."

"I know."

"Are you going to that party tonight? Axel and I are and so are Cloud and Riku."

"Yeah, Tidus and Kairi are coming with me. I told them…"

"Good. You should tell them things; they're your best friends. So what did Kairi come up with?"

"I'm not sure, I just know it involves Tidus and myself."

"What are you going to wear?"

"She's already got my outfit picked out."

"Don't think I'm going to let you out of the house without helping."

"I'm kinda worried about that."

"Don't be." Roxas looked at me with those blue eyes that were pure enough to pass for cerulean. I couldn't help but think that if I looked like him, I'd have no problem winning over Riku. He grabbed my chin making sure I was looking him right in the face. "I'm going to make you look like a wet dream. You'll be every rapist deepest desire. He won't know what hit him." I could feel my eyes start to tear up. It's always been a dream of mine to look like I want someone to rape me. _Thanks_, Roxas, _thanks a lot_! Roxas leaned in and kissed me on the corner of my lips. He kissed me on the eyelids and whispered in my ear. "If he doesn't get a hard on from looking at you, he'd have to be straight."

I laughed but I shivered at the thought. Riku, in that situation because of _me_. I licked my lips and tasted Roxas on them. I looked at him and he smiled, a seductive smirk of full lips.

"Do you really think so?"

"Trust me, and if you don't catch him staring, come find me. We'll make him stare. And don't worry about Cloud." I nodded. "I'm going to call Kairi."

"Uh-Oh not more crazy plots." I said with a fake roll of my eyes.

"Yes, more crazy plots." He said with a laugh. "I'll call Kairi, you take a shower and everything." I nodded again.

"And don't look so worried. This'll work." Roxas planted one last kiss on my forehead before standing up and pulling me with him. "When you get out we'll work on this. Now go take a bath or something… you smell."

"No I don't!

"You might not, but those are my shorts and they haven't been washed in a while…"

"Ew. Your sweaty shorts touching my legs!"

"Some people would give money to be in your situation! You don't appreciate me!"

"Pul-ease." I said.

One long shower and several even longer hours later….

That so far, has been my day. Really interesting right? Don't overestimate me! Two of those hours were spent sitting outside Roxas' room and listening to his and Kairi's conversation. Another three spent in front of the play station and about an hour spent outside on a walk. Where does the time go?

At around six thirty Roxas found me, attacked, and dragged my unconscious body into the dark hole he calls a room. Ok… so I wasn't unconscious, but I was definitely dragged.

Roxas pushed be down onto his bed and started going through his draws.

"Kairi already gave me the info on the outfit. I'm just here to supply the things she doesn't have."

"Please, Lord Jesus, if I make it through toni---"

"Shut the fuck up. You're going to love every minute of it."

I grumbled but didn't say anything else for fear of my life.

Roxas turned around after a few minutes of rummaging with a wicked grin on his face. Instantly I wished I'd finished that prayer.

"Here put this on." Roxas threw a ball of string my way. I held it up, realized what it was, shrieked and threw it in the closet. Yes exactly in that order in about the span of a minute. I know I'm quite mature. No, I didn't shriek like a little girl! It was a dignified… yelp.

"With the pants you're wearing you need to wear a thong, or at least briefs or something. You can't wear boxers for the rest of your life."

"I can so!"

"Don't argue with me on this."

"Some people think boxers are sexy!"

"Fine be an asshole. Don't do what I tell you.'

"I'll do everything else but wear that… **that**! No guy wears a thong… at least no self-respecting guy. Why do you have on anyway?"

"Axel likes them." Roxas replied in almost a whine.

"I don't care."

Roxas huffed, "Well, be a jerk then! What do I care if Riku had looked over at the thong peaking out of your pants and got a strong desire to kiss you!"

I pouted and refused to say anything else. I wasn't stupid. I had won the battle but I hadn't won the war. I knew well enough to quit while I was ahead.

"Come here" he said with a wave as he searched through his shelves.

"What now?" I asked warily.

"Makeup."

I groaned but realized this was necessary. Besides this fight I wouldn't win; Roxas was an adamant believer in eyeliner.

Roxas lifted a black eyeliner pencil and moved my lower eyelid down. He traced the rim with a concentrated look on his face. He went light with the eyeliner on the bottom, but on the top… he just caked it on. And don't get me wrong, he didn't stop there. He 'accentuated' the tilt of my eyes (thanks to my Asian heritage) with a thick black pencil. But I didn't look like a raccoon or like I'd just been punched in the face.

Then he put some gray eye shadow on, lightly, to stop my eyes from looking too stormy. Last, lip-gloss was applied, a cherry flavor. And damn did it taste good. Roxas had to reapply it about seven times before he gave up.

"I'll right you pain in the ass, you're done."

"You mean it, I'm free!?"

"No, you still have hair."

"Shit."

"Yeah, I know! I have nothing to work with!"

I huffed and whirled around; I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and had to stop. I looked like a totally different person; my eyes were large and even seductive looking with their half-lids. My pouting lips were shiny and kiss-able. It wasn't really me, but it was.

"I know," Roxas, said from behind me, "it's a big difference."

I nodded and Roxas sat me down in a chair to try and make my hair look respectable. He got out the industrial size hair spray and set to work trying to create a hole in the ozone. He sprayed the shit out of my hair and it still had trouble staying down.

Finally he succeeded, he had emptied half of the can but his masterpiece was done. I admired my hair in front of the mirror and was even more amazed than before. MY hair was hell to deal with, and now… it looks respectable. He'd matted the front down to my head to create bangs that framed my face and spiked out the rest to create a proverbial halo.

Riku was a good as dead.

Roxas saw the smirk on my face and laughed, instantly knowing what I was thinking of. "Come on, you gotta get dressed you screw up." He pulled me up from the chair and pushed me out his bedroom door.

"You're not coming?" I asked.

"No, I still have to get ready. Oh! Crap I almost forgot shoes…" He ran to his closet and started pulling out clothes. "Ah ha! Here, take these and put them on." He threw a pair of Vans at me.

"I have these shoes."

"Yeah, but yours are dirty and Riku says he likes these shoes. He told me so." I shrugged, what did I care, there were just a pair of checked Vans. Nothing special to me. "Get going!"

"Alright alright!" I threw slipped on Roxas shoes and left the house, sneaking out past Cloud sleeping on the couch. I know, my ninja skills are amazing.

I arrived at Kairi's house a few minutes later. I didn't even have to ring the bell, she threw the door open and yanked me in.

"Jeez Kairi."

"We have to hurry, we don't have much time! Oh! Roxas is good." Kairi said as she scrutinized me with a knowing eye. I blushed and she just smiled.

We took the stairs two at a time and I ended up being dragged most of the way. Fun.

Tidus was already there, waiting and dressed. He had a pair of dark jeans; they were tight but not tight enough to look like girl pants. His shirt was just a t-shirt with some band on it. Blond hair was spiked up behind his head and he stared when he saw me.

He chose not to say anything. Good, I wouldn't know what to say back.

"Quick go put these clothes on in the bathroom." She threw some clothes at me and pushed me out the door. Jeez, what is it throw-clothes-at-Sora-and-push-him-around day? I must have missed the memo.

I sulked the whole way down the hallway and while putting my clothes on. The outfit was surprisingly enough, very simple. A pair of tight girl-emo pants. And they were tight. Unfortunately, thanks to my lack of hips and ass, it sagged down revealing a good inch of blue boxers. Oh well, maybe Riku would think that was sexy. The shirt was, like Tidus' a white band shirt. It was tight. And it was totally different than the shirt we had decided on earlier. I didn't even have any clue who the band was, but the white made my sun-tanned skin look even darker.

I examined my reflection in the mirror and I didn't even recognize myself, it was disheartening. I didn't want Riku to be attracted to what I wasn't, but who I really was had never caught his attention. So this was it. My chance to shine and win him over to my side. The Dark Side. Haha… just kidding. I hope.

My brother wouldn't be the top dog anymore. I'd have his boy toy (sorry Riku) and I'll have gotten him back for all the times he's hurt me. Wow, don't think I'm like that. I'm not just after Riku because he's my brother's boyfriend… that's just an added plus.

I can't lose right? I'm a sexy, cute, Japanese, teenage boy. What more could you want? My almond eyes, pouty lips and great backside. I'm a dream come true. Right? At least I think I am.

But if I'm so good looking how come I've never had a date? Or been kissed? Ahh…. Jeez here comes the self-doubting.

There was a knock on the door and I heard Kairi's muffled voice. "Hurry Sora, Cloud and Riku just arrived at the party!"

"How do you know?" I yelled back.

"Oh, I have my ways." Translation, Roxas told her.

"Ok, I'm ready."

I unlocked the door and stepped out from behind it shyly. Kairi gasped and clapped her hands. "Ohmigosh!" She squealed. "Omigosh! Your so….. Ohmigosh!" I blushed and looked down at my feet. For all my big talk, I'm really just a nice guy.

"I guess it's that good."

"And more! Poor Riku!" Kairi laughed. Poor Riku? Poor me.

End Chapter

Arty - OK, yes! Quite random and different from my other stories. But hey everyone needs to breakaway sometimes right? Well I hope you enjoy this story. It was inspired by, the Ataris' 'Boys of Summer' and Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend'.

If you noticed, Sora is a little crazy… he goes from extremes very quickly. He has no confidence and he's trying very hard to change himself. This story will have an underlying theme, it won't just be a happy go lucky story. It'll deal with accepting yourself for who you are and believing in yourself. It's also proves that you don't need to have a boyfriend to love you if you have other people.


	2. The Butterfly Effect

Boys of Summer

By - FearlessDranzer

_But I can see you-  
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun  
You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby  
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong  
After the boys of summer have gone_

Chapter 2 - The Butterfly Effect 

I'm nervous.

I'm nervous.

_I'm_

_So _

_Nervous_.

I'm fucking nervous.

This was it, my moment to shine and here I am gnawing my fingernails off like a frickin' beaver.

Currently all three of us are sitting in the car with Kairi driving. Trust me Kairi driving is much better than Tidus or me driving, and we don't even put make-up on when we do it. Yeah, we're that much of a threat to human society when behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Makes you wonder how we got licenses in the first place…

Kairi was chatting along happily with Tidus who was up front with her, he fiddled with the radio for a while before settling on some random station with rock music blaring. I, on the other hand, had never been so nonchalant. My leg was jumping, eyes were twitching, I was biting my nails and alternating between laughing at nothing and bouts of depression.

I didn't even have enough time for a nervous break down before we arrived at the party though. Damn these fast modern cars! Kairi couldn't even find a parking spot on the block, we ended up walking.

I didn't mind.

It gave me more time to think out of ways to get out of this.

Running, unfortunately, wasn't an option. I was sandwiched between Kairi and Tidus, Tidus being the football team's number one quarterback, Kairi just being Kairi. You don't have to say it, I know my luck is pretty sucky. And I know that I'm really in for it now. I defiantly knew it was over when we arrived at the house and managed to cram ourselves in. The fat lady hadn't even sang yet and my death certificate was already signed and stamped. Oh well, we had a nice run, but all good things must come to an end eventually.

"Sora, you remember what you have to do right?" Kairi asked again for the seventeenth time.

"For Christ's sake Kairi! He knows already! Only a complete retard wouldn't know by now! You repeat it every five minutes… Christ!" Tidus groaned.

Wisely, both Kairi and I ignored him, even though he had a point.. "Yeah… mingle for a little while and then find Riku and ask him if he knows where Roxas is. But you haven't told me what to do after that…"

"Don't worry," Kairi replied. "Roxas will take care of everything after that."

"I worry when she says not to worry."

"You are not alone my friend."

"Now split up troops!"

"Jeez… who died and made you general?"

I forged a path towards the back of the house and away from my bickering best friends. Sure they loved each other, arguing was just part of the charm. I found a secluded spot in the corner, away from the couples making out and people humping and settled myself in for the wait.

Music blasted out of invisible speakers, some techno dance mix that seemed to go on continuously. It's amazing, you go out and you only hear one song! They all have the same tune! Okay, I'm getting off topic but it's just because I'm nervous. And when I'm nervous I tend to ramble… a lot… like I'm doing now.

Trust me, it can't be helped. It's a curse I'm afraid.

I flipped open my cell phone and in front of the picture of me, Tidus and Kairi, the little digital clock read that twenty minutes had pasted. Signaling the end of my life. Alright, maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but come on! I think I have every right to be. Wouldn't you be nervous if you had to go over and talk to a hot guy?

Chyeah!

Don't even shake your head 'no' back there, you're lying right through your teeth.

But sometimes you just have this unexpected bout of confidence, am I right? That little moment where you march right up to that guy and go 'excuse me, but you're fucking delicious'. I was sorta-kinda-not-really having one of those moments.

I searched Riku out, once again using my amazing ninja tracking skills. You know if this night turns out to be an utter waste of time and complete failure, I can still have a career as a ninja. Ah, thank God for small miracles.

And there he was, the god of sex and hard on's himself. I could feel my heart stall for a couple of beats as I just stared, openmouthed. He was all that and more.

And with my newly found confidence I went over and talked to him. It wasn't really along the lines of 'excuse me, but your fucking delicious', not even close.

"Hey Riku?" I yelled over the music. Why was it always so loud? And where the hell were the speakers?

I almost froze like a deer caught in head lights as he turned that gorgeous face towards me, one hand cupping a beer the other in his pants pocket. And damn were those pants tight. I hoped his legs didn't like blood, they certainly weren't get any. And that sweatshirt, it stopped just an inch over the top of his jeans, allowing skin to peek through. _Very nice. _

He smiled at me and since I was currently running on some strange form of courage I forged on with my act.

"Have you seen Roxas?" Yup, that's me the epitome of human socializing.

Riku was thoughtful for a moment and his eyebrows scrunched together. "He was just here. He left to go get something, but said he'd be right back. He told me to tell you to stay here and wait for him if you came looking."

I blinked. "Oh, okay." I blinked again.

After a minute of silence I attempted to strike up conversation. "Hey, Riku? What are you doing here by yourself? Shouldn't you be with my brother?"

He looked at _me_ again. He laughed, a heady masculine sound that made my stomach quiver. "Honestly, I think he ditched me, again. He ran off some where right after we came in."

That bastard the nerve! Leave a hot piece of flesh like Riku unguarded!? Blasphemy! And utter stupidity on my brother's part. "That sucks."

_I know something I'd like to be sucking. _

Riku looked grateful. "Yeah, but you've been ditched too, right? I mean, didn't you come here with Kari and Tidus?"

"Well… um.." Lucky out of the blue comes my savior. No, not Jesus Christ… but close.

"Yo! Sora! Sup?" Axel came sauntering over with his tight leather pants. He slapped a hand down on my shoulder and gave his trademark smirk, a knowing look in his eyes as he winked at me.

"Um.. Nothing."

"Cool, hey Riku." Riku nodded back but he was quiet and didn't say anything. Oh no! Is my angel upset? Is he mad at me? "So, Sora… Roxas tells me you play guitar."

"A little, not that well or anything." I fumbled with my fingers, wondering if Riku was angry at me.

"Yeah, Roxas told me you'd say something like that. He also told me not to believe you."

"It's just a hobby… nothing special ya know?" It was easy to talk comfortably with Axel as he just seemed to ooze confidence and happiness. Wonder what the hell his mother fed him when he was young.

Axel laughed, throwing his pretty head back and exposing the white flesh of his neck. That red hair of his danced delicately, like grass in the wind.

"Seriously, Sora you should join me and my band. We've been looking for a replacement guitar player. And you play bass right?"

"Right…" It came out as a whisper. Oh God! What has Roxas done? He's sold my soul to some hard core rock band! I'm doomed! Me and my Vans, we're fucked.

"Great, so give me a call, we have practices Tuesday afternoon at my house. See you there!" Axel did his little finger point thing and disappeared back into the crowd before I could say anything else.

There was that awkward silence again.

I snuck a glance at Riku but he was looking into his cup and frowning. What the hell could be more interesting in there than _me_? I sat quietly and fumed for a few minutes before he talked to me.

"I didn't know you played guitar."

"Yeah, well, it's just a hobby."

We fell into silence again.

"I didn't think you were into that kinda stuff." Riku said jerking his head towards me to emphasize his point.

I was clueless.

"What kinda stuff…?" I asked confused and hesitantly.

Christ, where was Sherlock Holmes when I needed him. Or even frigging Nancy Drew?

"J-Rock. You've got some Japanese band on your shirt." He was giving me a strange look. _Great_, could I manage to do nothing right? I'd never heard of any Japanese bands before. I didn't even speak Japanese! Sure, I was Japanese but that didn't mean I spoke it right!? Wrong. Thanks a lot Kairi. _Thank you very fucking much._

"Oh.. Um.. Yeah I always listen to umm Alice Nine?" It came out as a question but I covered my mistake as best as I could.

He nodded and I caught a glimpse of Cloud heading our way, flushed from excessive drinking.

"You know Sora, I didn't think you really liked all of that." Once again Riku gestured to my clothing.

"Well, surprise?" I replied weakly. _This was so not good. _Cloud's coming! I'm fucked! I though that Roxas would take care of everything! Roxas is probably too busy sucking Axel's face off! Damn my life!

Cloud looked at Riku and flashed a sexy smile, than he saw me and that smile turned into a frown. His blue eyes hardened and I knew it was time to leave. He still hadn't forgiven me for this morning.

I made a swift exit. Walked halfway home and texted Kairi telling her I'd left. She never replied back but than again she didn't call me in a panic so I assume she got the message.

Tonight wasn't a total bust I guess. I mean I at least talked to Riku and that's something I've never done that much of. But that's all it was right? Just idle conversation so that the silence wouldn't be awkward, right? A part of me dared to hope for something more in those words we exchanged.

The street was dark and the houses that lined it all had their lights off. It wasn't that late but people here on Destiny Islands were the early to bed early to rise type, well, except for the tourists and teenagers. I kicked a pebble with my foot and listened as it skittered down the street.

My time with Riku might have been really lame, but at least I might have a change with Axel in his band. I'm not that good of a bass player; I taught myself and never took any lessons. I mean, I even slept through music class.

I checked my cell phone for Kairi's return text message and for the time. It was close to midnight and I still had quite a ways to walk. Why not just make Kairi drive me home? Well, Tidus is a party animal and Kairi has the biggest crush on him. She wouldn't want to go home early and miss out on time with him, so I being the great guy that I am decided to walk home. I know, you don't have to tell me how nice I am.

But now, because I'm so insanely nice and such a good person, I'm stuck walking home alone. Sure walking earlier was okay, but that was when it was 70 degrees, out horribly humid and the sun was shining and the birds were singing. Now it' about 50-something, there's no sun, no humidity and no fucking singing birds. A chill wind bit through my t-shirt, seriously the weather would be fine if I had a sweatshirt or something, but I don't. Beginning of September and I have no sweatshirt. Someone up there hates me.

I could hear a car coming down the block behind me and as it drew closer the headlights hit me and I heard the car slowly down. Could it be Kairi? Had she come looking for me? Oh what a good friend she is! I love you Kairi!

The car that pulled up next to me was a Mustang. Strange… when did Kairi get a new car? Could have sworn she drove a Saturn.

The window rolled down and a voice called out to me. "Hey Sora, want a ride?" Even stranger, when did Kairi sound like a man? Wait a second, I know that voice… OH MY GAWD!

"Riku!" I yelled. _Smooth Sora, real smooth_. I'm a regular old Casanova.

"Umm… Yes?"

Whoops, I scared him. "Er, sorry you scared me."

"Oh, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to know if you wanted a ride."

"S-Sure." I stuttered. Was this it!? Were my dreams coming true? Would he take me back to my house and rape me in Cloud's bed? Or was he just being a nice guy and driving me home? Damn, I hope it's the first one. But hell, you can't rape the willing. I got in the car and settled myself into the leather seats before putting my seatbelt on. Okay, really nerdy, but it's a habit. My mom always makes me wear one.

"So, how come you left the party early?" I asked out of curiosity. Did he come looking for me? I flicked an invisible piece of dirt off my jeans and focused on the road so that I wouldn't stare at Riku.

Riku shrugged.

"Ahh. Trouble in paradise?" I asked. I sounded sympathetic on the outside, but on the inside I was seething. What did Cloud ever do to get in Riku's pants! How could Riku even like a bastard like Cloud? I wonder if that leaves an opening for me…

"Yeah, I don't like him when he drinks."

I made an agreeing noise. I didn't like my brother when he drank either. I wouldn't call him an alcoholic, but he liked to drink. I mean, I have nothing against a drink every once in a while, not that I drink myself, but damn. Different people are different types of drunks. Some people are happy drunks, sad drunks, stupid drunks and some are just angry drunks. Cloud was an angry drunk.

He could say the nastiest things when he was drunk, but you really couldn't take him to heart right? He's just doing it because he's drunk.

The silence was deafening and making me squirm like I had something in my pants. Not that anything could fit in there, they're so damn tight.

"Um.. Do you think I could turn on the radio?"

"Sure." Riku replied.

I flipped through the stations on the radio and there was nothing on, I was about to give up when Riku said to try the CDs. So I did.

I randomly chose a CD and track number, and you wouldn't believe what came on. No not the pina colada song! Or even the Barney song! It was only my favorite song ever.

Boys of Summer.

Damn! Did that song do it for me. The perfect summer song. Only listening to it now when the wounds of school's coming were fresh made my heart ache. I loved the carefree feeling of summer. The sound of the waves breaking along the beach, the cries of seagulls and children's laughter. There was no better end of summer song than the Boys of Summer.

Actually, in a way the song reminded me of Riku. Like me, Riku had an insatiable love for the beach. He'd stay out all day and night just to catch the perfect wave. Something about the beach just called to Riku. Unlike my brother, Cloud, I could understand why Riku would go to the beach at five o'clock in the morning. Hell, I would be out there myself. There's just something so calm and peaceful about the beach in the morning. The beach is deserted, the waves wipe away any trace of yesterday and the sand is as clean and unmarked as a babe's flesh.

Gone are the screaming kids and teenagers, the over-weight adults and babies crying, it's just you and the beach.

And as the sun rises over the beach on your last day of summer A.K.A. freedom, something inside you breaks.

"I love this song." I said.

I could hear the guitar going and was surprised when Riku reached forward and turned up the music.

"It's my favorite."

"Really?" God, we have the same favorite song! We were meant to be! Dreams do come true!

"Yeah, but it makes me sad to listen to it, now that summer's over."

Oh my god! Do I need to say more? God, we'd be so perfect together.

"I know what you mean, you miss the beach, the sand, the feeling…" Uh oh, I was rambling. Shit, shit, shit!

"Totally. It's like you read my mind." Riku laughed and I snuck a glance at him. His hair seemed to glow in the dark and his tan skin barely stood out in the darkness. "So which one do you like better, the new one or the old?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. If you ask me, they're like two different songs."

Riku nodded, but didn't reply.

Strangely enough, I felt at ease with him. Finally, we had managed to bond over something that was real. No t-shirts with bands I don't know or clothes I don't wear. This, this was real.

Riku pulled into my driveway and unlocked the door. "See you later Sora."

"Are you going back to the party?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Yeah."

"You shouldn't, it would serve him right."

Riku looked confused but than he smiled. "Bye Sora."

"Bye." I closed the car door and practically floated up to the front door where I let myself in. Mom was already in and sleeping. She's a lawyer and pretty busy, but she still cares for us. But for things like curfews we were on our own.

I closed the door after I got in and collapsed on the other side of it holding myself. I was giddy from happiness. Riku and I loved the same song! Oh and he's so gorgeous. Cloud doesn't know how good he's got it.

I'm not sure how long I sat there just giggling and sighing but eventually I must have gotten up and left. I went to bed and when I woke up the sun was shining down on me.

Little did I know, something had changed while I was sleeping. Something I honestly hadn't been expecting, but wasn't at all surprised when it happened.

When I went downstairs I was the only one awake. I took that as a good sign. I retrieved the paper from the driveway and got myself some Lucky Charms before reading the news.

There was nothing new. But there never was anything new. We were a small archipelago of islands that lived off the life blood of tourists. Once the summer season was over, Destiny Island was a quiet place with little to nothing going on. Sure there was an influx in tourists around Christmas time, but in September it was just the islanders. And it was the start of storm season.

In fact the only news was that a small tropical storm was headed our way, but that wasn't _news_. The rain would last an hour and than we'd all be on our merry way.

An hour later when Roxas graced me with his presence, I was reading the comics and my cereal was a soggy mess.

Roxas plopped himself down next to me and ripped the paper away from me. He threw it on the other end of the table.

"I was reading that." I said.

"Not anymore. Guess what?"

"What?" I asked wearily, I was no fool.

"They're done. They're over."

"Who's done and over?" Really now folks, we all are entitled to our share of blonde moments.

"You're an idiot some times. Riku and Cloud!" Roxas yelled.

"How?" I screeched back.

"Well, the rumor is that Riku caught Cloud cheating on him and broke it off with him. But Cloud was so angry when he came home last night, he must have gotten dumped!"

"Holy crap!" I squealed. Once again, we are all entitled to our moments.

"Totally. But now what? Will you ask him out?"

"No… But I can always be a friend to him, for a little while at least."

"Do you think you could handle being just friends, I mean Sora, you _really_ like this guy. Look at how much you had to change just for him to notice you."

"I didn't have to change for him to like me." I said all defensively. I'll admit it, I was a little pissed off at that. "And what the hell? Why did you tell Axel I played the guitar? And to tell Riku that too!"

"I was doing you a favor, I know how much Riku likes music. He sings in some other band." He was getting defensive too.

"Well stop doing me favors."

"Fine." And with that Roxas got up and huffed away. Just like that I'd driven away my oldest friend. But it wouldn't stop there. Murphy's Law my friends. When it rains it damn well pours. In the course of a few weeks my life would be shot to hell and back. I was on the fast track to no where good. I was gaining speed the whole time and yet my hand wasn't even moving to the break.

It was one of those times I wish I could go back and do over again. You know like the Butterfly Effect or some shit. Only I'm certain, it would have turned out worse for me too. Although soon I would wish it had come out a lot worse.

Well, Riku was probably upset right? I mean Cloud was cheating on him _again_. Cloud is _not_ a one lover man. So where would Riku go when he was upset? Well, duh, the beach. Living on a island does have it's perks, the beach isn't even a five minute walk.

I was still wearing last night's clothing and last night's make-up, I probably didn't smell that good but it didn't matter to me. I had to find Riku.

When I got there the beach was deserted, there were no tourists this time of the year and it was too early for the islanders to be up. I had the beach to myself. Myself and a Golden Labrador.

He came running up with a Frisbee in his mouth, all covered in dog drool. The dog had no collar or tags. He plopped himself down quick as can be at my feet and looked at me expectantly. Hesitantly, I put my hand out and tug the Frisbee gently to see if he would put up a fight, he didn't. I took the Frisbee from him and flung it down the beach with all my might and off he went, charging. His tongue hanging out of his mouth, his eyes sparkling with excitement. I threw the Frisbee once and he didn't come back.

Of course I decided to go look for the dog but he'd probably found himself a crab or something and was playing.

I reached the pier and heard masculine laughter and spotted a hint of silver and gold. Riku was engaged in a tug-o-war fight with the dog trying to wrestle the Frisbee away from him.

"Simba!" He laughed, "Let go!"

My heart caught in my throat and something lower than my stomach tightened. It was a gorgeous sight to see, a boy and his dog. Suddenly Simba stopped pulling and started barking as someone walked towards them.

It was Cloud.

Way for Cloud to ruin everything! That guy's timing seriously sucks. Great now him and Riku will have touching reunion and my chance will be gone. Why God Why!

I strained to listen to their conversation but I couldn't really hear anything until Riku started yelling.

"I saw you having sex with her!"

"So what! We're allowed to have sex with other people… the agreement we made!"

"Well I don't fucking care! If you loved me you wouldn't have to go to other people for a quick fuck!"

"If we had sex more often I wouldn't have to go to someone else!"

"You're act like a fucking whore Cloud!"

"And you're not a whore?" Oh Cloud that was low. Really low. But honest both boys had a reputation for well… sleeping around.

"You bastard." Riku said it quietly but I knew what he had said. Simba started growling and Riku suddenly threw a punch at Cloud.

It hit Cloud hard in the face but he didn't go down, instead he punched Riku hard enough in the gut that he knocked the wind out of him. As Riku sat trying to catch his breath Cloud tried to on advance but Simba started barking.

Cloud left. Riku struggled to sit up and slowly I moved towards him.

I'm a fucking coward. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.

I hadn't made a move to help him. I hadn't done a single thing to protect the guy I loved from my juggernaut of a brother.

Yeah, Riku had punched him first but Cloud wasn't a guy you screwed with as evident earlier. Sometimes he would just snap and lose all thought. You didn't want to be around him when he was like that, it was almost as if he wasn't human.

I approached Riku slowly from behind, he had finally managed to sit up and was petting Simba's golden fur. I hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered "Riku?"

He didn't reply.

I just sat down next to him and quietly we watched the waves crash on the beach, listening to the methodical sound they made and the cry of a lone sea gull.

I should have been happy but strangely I wasn't. I couldn't get out of my head the image of Riku struggling and hurt and the fact that I had done nothing to help him.

Did I really deserve Riku?

I wondered quietly in my head until Riku got up and walked away. I stayed there for the rest of the morning and well past lunch time, just thinking.

There were so many things I could have said to him that I didn't. So many memories we could have created, but we didn't. I realized how time was running out and along with it was my chance of actually getting Riku.

I could only hope that we were still within Summer's reach.

End of Chapter

Arty - OK, thanks bunches of hugs to anyone who reviewed or just even read this story. I'm surprised so many people liked it considering it was just supposed to be a short little nonsense story. But if you guys want the rest of the story I'll be happy to give it to you.

Throughout this chapter and the last I have hinted at the way the story will go. So hopefully some people have caught the hints (which are quite obvious) and will realize this story might take a drastic turn and not be quite so light hearted.

Anyway thanks to anyone who read and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	3. Temper, Temper

1Boys of Summer

By - FearlessDranzer

_I never will forget those nights  
I wonder if it was a dream  
Remember how you made me crazy?  
Remember how I made you scream  
Now I don't understand what happened to our love  
But babe, I'm gonna get you back  
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of_

Chapter 3 - Temper, Temper

My fingers moved rapidly over the keys as I texted Kairi about Riku and Cloud. I'd text Tidus but the kid never freakin' responds. I seriously don't know why his parents got him a cell phone, he uses it as a paperweight, I kid you not.

Kairi responded in a second flat, if there was an Olympics for text messaging, Kairi would take gold. I have never seen fingers move so fast over such a tiny little space. And when Kairi texts it's like she speaking in a different language, seriously, what does ttly lmaorofl mean?

I'm a guy! Guys don't speak text! It's like some kind of strange mind control, when girls text; they always sound so perky and happy very valley-girl-esque. It's almost scary the immediate personality change. It's like they're on permanant PMS-mode.

_HOLY F'ING SHIT! This is like ttly ur chance!_

I told you, they're crazy when they're texting. Is that even English? Can't she just say regular 'fucking' like everyone else?

One day, I'll investigate these burning questions, for now I need to focus on Riku... what a nice ass he has... OK! Moving on!

I responded quickly yet infinitly slower than Kairi; the master of text messaging.

_Umm... Yeah What do I do?_

_You gotta catch his attention!_

_I think I made him angry..._

The phone starting ringing and shaking in my hands blasting a Metro Station song, apparently Kairi felt our texting wasn't doing this conversation justice.

"You text really slow you know that?"

"Hi Kairi, nice to talk to you to. How have you been?"

"Why do you think you pissed him off?" Kairi asked plowing right ahead as usual, that girl is so eloquent.

"I'm good Sora, how are you?" I immitated her painfully high voice terribly and was awarded by her groans.

"You want my help don't you loser?" I groaned and she took it as a 'yes'. "Then why does he hate you?"

"I didn't say hate, I think I just made him angry..."

"How?"

"I'm getting to that!"

"Sorry! So touchy!"

"Anyway, I told you I heard Riku and Cloud arguin, but they were arguing about Cloud having sex with some girl, not unusual, both of them have an agreement about sex. Girls okay, boys bad." Kairi stayed uncharacteristically silent during my explanation, revealing her intense focus on what I had to say.

"But for some reason, Riku was really pissed off this time. He broke it off with Cloud and Cloud got angry. You know how he is about his temper, he tried to hit Riku but Simba–his dog–jumped in between them."

"Yeah, so what's the prob?"

"I didn't stick up for him against my own brother."

"Well it was their fight, you really didn't have any place in it..."

"Kairi, Cloud called him a whore and hit him, hard. And I went up to him when Cloud was gone, when the coast was clear, like a coward."

"Sora, I know you're upset, you've got quite the hero complex, but trust me. You did the best you could, think of how much angrier they would have been if you'd have gotten involved?" Kairi's argument made sense but it couldn't completely ease the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I guess so Kai, I mean you're making sense it's just..."

"Just what?"

"It's nothing, it's stupid."

"Sora..." she whispered but I was saved from having to answer by an incoming phone call.

"Sorry Kai, I've got to take this call." I hung up before she could say good bye, leaving her talking to a dead tone. I couldn't take that it when she said my name like that, in such a sad patronizing way. It was wrong but I hung up on her and I couldn't even stop myself. What's happening to me?

The call was from an unknown caller. Strange... but I'll just chalk it up to my incredible popularity. Yeah right, with my luck it'll be some strange rapist with a taste for sissy-boy flesh.

"Hello?" I answered tentively, thinking all the while of serial rapists.

"Yo! Sora! It's Axel."

"Umm... Hi?" What the? Who gave him my number! Oh Roxas, your days are numbered. Enjoy your last moments.

"Yeah so, my bands having practice this afternoon and well I told them about you..." Fuckin' great. "And they're interested to see what you can do." Roxas, I want you to know I have no issues with manslaughter. "So do you wanna stop by later?" Like I wanna saw off my own leg!

But my mind flashed to a picture of Roxas hurt and angry this morning and then to Riku, with that sad smile on his face. I owed it to both of them to give this a chance.

"Yeah, sure what time?" Kill me. I tried to keep my tone light but I could almost feel the discomfort oozing off it.

"Three good?" No

"Yeah sure good."

"Okay, just bring your bass. We got the amps and shit." Wonderful they got the _shit_. Shit is something Axel seems to have a lot of.

"Alright, I'll be there."

I hung up and wondered what I'd gotten myself into.

I snuck stealthly in through the back sliding door, I wasn't ready to talk to Roxas yet. I had been the one who yelled at him when he was trying to help but what can I say? I'm a stubborn bastard.

I couldn't put it off any longer, I needed my stupid bass and I really needed to scrub the make-up off my face and change clothes. Oh shit.

That reminded me.

Riku had seen me in my days-old clothes and make-up. Sexy. I love it when my men don't shower or change clothes. It's very rugged.

I probably took the faster shower of my life, hoping to avoid Roxas. But alas as I came out, there he was ready, with a smirk on his face.

"So, Axel tells me you're coming to practice today."

"Yeah..."

"You really are the dumber twin." I huffed indignantly.

"Riku usually shows up to their practice."

"OHMAGAWD!" I screeched. In that moment all is forgiven. It's that twin thing you know?

Don't ask, I've never felt him in pain from miles away.

"That was really dumb sounding."

"Part of my charm."

"Yes... some charm." Sarcasm thy name is Roxas. "But you seriously, you need to get ready..."

"Roxas, I just got out of the friggin' shower of course I'm not ready!"

Roxas ignored my high-pitched whining as he normally does and starts talking to himself. "I can't do anything with your hair, it's just not possible in so short a time. Clothes... probably a lot of mine... make-up... no time..." He sounded like a gay Calvin Klein.

"Excuse me? But ruin perfection like this?" I motioned towards my towel clad body.

"Well, Axel will definately like it."

"On second thought..." I ran into Roxas room and jumped on the bed keeping my death grip on the towel the whole time.

Roxas came into the room in a more dignified manner.

"Can I not dress so gay today?"

"You are gay."

"That's _gay_. I'm the kind of gay girls dream about kissing other boys. You know the good gay. Not the too-gay-to-function gay."

"Ok, so I'll try not to make you so androgyenous this time."

"Thank you Swami."

Somehow Roxas held in his snide remarks, and for that I congradulate him, it's quite the feat.

"A pair of jeans, black jeans... no Vans... maybe the Nikes?"

My face dropped at that. No! Not the Nikes... anything but _them_. Those foul excuse for sneakers

were two sizes too big for his own feet and looked like someone vomited a rainbow up on them.

"You're fuckin' kidding me. These aren't even tied." I deadpanned.

"Yeah, well live with it." It was _that _tone. You know the one. The don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-open-up-a-can-of-whoop-ass-on-you tone. I hate that tone.

He threw clothes at me and I rapidly put them on, if there was an Olympics for dressing I'd have that shit in the bag. The pants were looser today and joy! I could even breathe! The shirt was white with a rainbow on it and musical notes and a chord connected to a pair of chunky old-school headphones. And it was way too tight and fruity looking.

"Here take this." Roxas threw a sweat shirt at my head and I shrieked indignatly.

"And cover of this gorgeous bronze skin! I think not!"

"Have it your way Drama Queen." I'll have him know I'm damn proud of my tan! I don't look like a certain pale-as-a-vampire loser named Roxas who could easily be mistaken for a ghost these days or at least a bed sheet.

I rolled around on Roxas' bed for a few minutes before he forcibly kicked me out. And then it was time for me to face the music.

I grabbed my bass, which I was too cheap to buy a case for, and grabbed my phone, heading for the front door. Then I turned around and grabbed my one pick, yes one--I'm that ghetto fabulous, and ran to the door.

Unfortunately someone was there waiting for me.

"Where the fuck are you going dressed like that?" Cloud, so nice to see you! Yes, I'm good how about you?

"Out." Uh-oh that got his curiosity.

"Out where?" He asked slithering off the couch in his leather pants, stalking towards me like a cat sensing an easy meal. He had that predatory grin on his face that was characteristic of Cloud, and sauntered over to me like he was trying to catch my eye.

"Kairi's, what's with the twenty questions? You writtin' a book?" Good cover-up. Score one for Sora! Zero Cloud!

"If you're going to Kairi's why are you dressed like that? You never dress like that." Damn since when did Cloud get so smart? "What are you going out to fuck her?"

I turned bright red with anger, but he took it as embarassment. "No way! It's the guy isn'it? You're little friend Titus, what are you two screwing each other now?"

Roxas came down the stairs looking angry. "Can't you ever leave him alone Cloud? You're such a fucker."

Cloud turned his attention to Roxas and I contemplated running out, but I wasn't willing to risk a repeat of yesterday if Cloud managed to channel his inner sprinter again.

"I try. That boyfriend of yours, he was great."

"You're just trying to make me angry."

"Am I? Are you so sure? Why don't you ask him?"

"Roxas, ignore him." I countered, defending Roxas. "Obviously he's pissed his little fuck buddy dumped him and he's trying to take his sexual frustrations out on us."

"What the fuck did you say?" Cloud rounded on me and pushed me against the wall. Goddamn this big mouth of mine and my sense of justice! "Sexual frustrations? Sora you're so desperate to get fucked, you're begging your older brother... well if you insist..."

Cloud ground his hips painfully into mine, being taller that I am, his belt hit against my stomach with bruising force. The guitar trapped behind me dug painfully into my flesh. He licked his way up my neck, leaving a trail of saliva behind.

Then just as quickly, he pulled back and I hit the floor in a daze. He walked away chuckling, even after Roxas shot him the finger and muttered loosely veiled threats.

Roxas tried to help me up but I waved him off. "I'm fine." I said, my voice didn't reveal how I truly felt. Roxas didn't look too certain but I pried him off me with soothing words and promises that I would be fine.

I left him watching my retreating back. Worry, painted across his face.

Cloud hadn't always been like this, he was the perfect older brother before. Well behaved, smart, athletic and Aerith was his girlfriend for years. That all changed a few years back when he met Sephiroth who fucked him and left, than came back fucked him again and left again.

Sephiroth introduced my brother to a cruel side of life and to the empty gaping hole in himself that he tried to fill with sex and fake love.

He and Riku were never destined to last because Cloud was the screw 'em and leave 'em type of guy, but Riku had to know that, he wasn't stupid. But for once it almost looked like this relationship might actually happen, and than Riku got angry.

Wait, am I actually feeling bad for Cloud here? Cloud who made an ass of the guy I love and of myself? Yeah, I feel sorry for him.

But what's worse, I feel sorry for _myself_. What Cloud did me... felt wonderful, wrong and painful all at the same time. It wasn't Cloud who I was attracted to, trust me I'm not turning this into a Flowers in the Attic type deal.

It was the actions. I craved human touch, any kind of human touch, even my crazy ass brother's.

I guess that's why I can sympathize with Cloud, I'm just like him. Albet a little less violent, narcisstic and crazy, I'm still like him. Waiting... just waiting for that special someone to notice me and come back.

Unfortuanately for Cloud I don't think Sephiroth's coming back, I never told him or Roxas but I heard a rumor of him traveling to the mainland for some kind of job. And Sephiroth was always the business-over-pleasure type of man.

And just as unfortunate for myself, I don't think this is going to work out like Roxas and Kairi think it is.

I'm Sora.

I'm not some punk-emo-scene kid.

I'm Sora.

The type of guy who laughs till milk comes out his nose and than laughs harder. The guy who never matches because he could care less. The guy who falls asleep on the beach and gets a tattoo of someone's name on his stomach done by sunscreen. The guy who trips over air more often than any other substance on Earth.

I'm Sora.

I'm not this.

I'm not what Riku wants.

My self emo speech was interupted by a text message from Kairi.

_Go get 'em tiger!!_

Right underneath was a picture of her and Titus holding up peace signs to their cheeks. How cliche to send that to an Asian person.

But it was enough to get my mood out of its black emo gutter. And I walked towards Axel's house with confidence.

I rang the doorbell to Axel's house and a big black dog ran to greet me. He was easily twice my weight and probably taller than me. He was fucking huge. He had that big stupid dog grin on his face and was drooling slightly but his tail wagged a million miles a minute. What a guard dog.

A pale blonde girl appeared and attempted to pull the huge dog back but gave up and decided to just push past him and try to open the door that way.

"Hi! You must be Sora, I'm Namine." She waved and her eyes laughed, such a pure blue color like summer skies.

I felt myself going strangely poetic, but nothing could describe her better. She could easily be likened to an angel with such pale gold hair and porcealin skin. She was fragile and sickly frail, a strange balance to her angelic appearance.

"Next time you can just come in, alright?"

I smiled back, flashing her one of my signature cheesy smiles that make every girl giggle. And she didn't disappoint me. There is something contagious about cheesy smiles.

"Yo! Sora, stop flirting with Namine and get yo' ass down here!" Axel yelled out, his voice coming from a doorway to my right, leading down into the depths of the house.

Namine waved me off, "Don't worry," she said. "He's just mad because he's losing. Go ahead, I'll be right behind you." Somehow that sweet angel seemed to know I was horrified to go down there and wasn't making fun of me. Strange... she can't possibly be human.

I couldn't help but wonder... losing what?

And when I got to the bottom of the steps I knew.

Guitar Hero.

I thought this was band practice?!

Axel paused the game and looked at me. He saluted me and walked towards me, his toy guitar hanging off of one arm covered in stickers. Upon closer inspection it was discovered that they were Hello Kitty stickers.

Real masculine.

He pulled me by the arm, dragging me in front of the television.

"This is Sora."

"Hi Sora."

Oh god not AA!

"H–Hey.."

"Roxas tells me he can play bass good and stuff, so he's going to try out today and hopefully will be staying on. Who knew that there were so little bass players on this island!"

Yeah, they're really scrapping the bottom of the barrel nowadays...

I looked around me and Axel pointed to each of the guys in turn. I tried to guess what kind of music Axel's band played based on their looks, a favorite past time of mine.

The first was a blond haired guy named Demyx with too many piercings to count. There were a few in his ears including guages wide enough to stick my thumb through and some on his face, particularly in the eye brow area.

He smiled at me and it was _fuckin'_ creepy.

Demyx played the guitar and was the other one versing Axel on Guitar Hero.

Then there was Saix who played the drums, he had a scar that criss-crossed over his face and a calm demenor that was put off by the malicious glitter in his eyes. His hair was purple. I kid you not. A real looker.

Namine apparently sometimes made a guest appearance as a singer... she didn't really fit in with the other guys to say the least.

The last was Marluxia who had a girly sounding name and a feminine body but the hard bulge in his pants gave him away. He smirked and blew me a kiss that made my left eye twitch. Tattoos covered his arms and he had a lip ring...or two.

If I had to guess... I place them... in the realm of Atreyu... From First To Last... you know the general screaming mish-mash of noise band.

But then I took in their clothing... black skinny jeans... red for Axel... Vans, Chucks... Addidas... Cute Is What We Aim For t-shirt...Hollister...Oh what the hell!

What is this!?

My god!

"So... Axel," I said. "What do you do?"

"Oh I sing."

"Oh yeah?"

He nodded.

"What do you like to sing?"

"I like to sing everything..."

"Including Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys!" Demyx threw in.

Axel shot him the finger.

"So what kind of music do you play?" I was afraid to ask.

He smiled brightly, looking like a moron, but a happy moron. "Namine says we sound sorta like Boys Like Girls."

Oh hell no!

If I had been drinking anything I would have spit it out. "You guys!" I motioned to the motely crew in front of me. "You look more Slipknot-esque..."

"I fuckin' wish!"Marluxia replied.

Axel explained. "Well we started this band when we were younger... into less heavy music and Marluxia likes Boys Like Girls too much to change."

"Hey! You bastard, you're the one with the CD!"

Oh so they just like to look tough. A bunch of regular hard-core straight up gangstas.

They yelled at each other and Namine laughed quietly, watching them.

"Don't worry they're kids at heart no matter how tough they look and behind the perversion, Axel's a real romantic."

"I guess that would explain why my brother's still with that ass."

"It is a nice ass..."

We laughed and shared a moment as only straight girls and gay guys can.

She was like a less crazy and more caring Kairi.

Don't tell her I said that.

"So what type of music do you like to play?"

I colored, I didn't want to talk about me. "I just play anything that sounds good, usually I just fool around."

She nodded and we lasped into silence before I realized something. "Hey, Namine..."

"Yes?"

"Doesn't Riku normally come... Roxas... umm Roxas wanted me to tell him something..." Smooth lying Sora! I could be a presidential candidate at this rate!

Namine looked at me but it wasn't suspiciously, it was almost knowingly. "He usually does come. I guess he's not coming today... He's been kinda off lately."

My heart fluttered. "Do you know why?" I ventured to ask.

"I'm not sure.. Actually I overheard him talking to Xemnas about someone. He seemed frustrated, like he was trying to get close to someone but felt wrong? I don't know..."

Oh mah god! He did try to talk to me that morning... he always tries to talk to me but I'm always too embarassed! Could Riku like me?

"Are you alright?" Namine asked.

My breathing sped up and I started to blush, luckly we were interrupted by Axel coming over and slamming his hand down on my shoulder.

I almost hit the floor and staggered under the force.

"Yo! Sora get ready, we're gunna start!" Why must he yell when I'm three inches away?

I smiled apoligetica ly at Namine who looked concerned. I turned away and joined the other guys, absentmindly attaching my bass to an amp and tuning it, thinking and wondering. I didn't even have time to be nervous.

Suddenly Demyx and Axel were in front of me and I blinked back to attention. Neither of them noticed I hadn't been paying attention.

"So, Sora you get to pick the song... it'll be like an audition and if we like you, you stay, if we don't..."

"Hot crazy man sex!"

"Oh mah god no!" I yelled out not thinking.

Demyx laughed. "I was just kidding Sora." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" I asked, not hearing him.

"Nothing, nothing."

Suspicious much?

"So, you got a song in mind?"

Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

"Boys of summer?" Dammit!

"Ataris or Henley?"

I sighed. "Ataris."

"Ataris it is." Axel and Demyx went back to their respective spots to the left of me and Marluxia started counting off.

Demyx started up and Marluxia played softly in the background. I joined in a measure later and Marluxia started banging away.

Axel started singing and suddenly I felt really... right.

Playing with them wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I unwound slowly, my muscles loosening and I grew more confident in my playing. Demyx was jumping around like... like something. I wasn't that confident, I settling for overly dramatic head banging.

Axel swung his microphone around and sung fast, heading towards the last verse like a speeding train.

My fingers started to shake from the intensity of playing and sweat dripped down my face.

We finished and it was dissappointing... I didn't want to stop. I wanted to play forever. I looked up with a smile on my face and found everyone else to be staring at me.

"Oh shit. I sucked didn't I?"

No one said anything.

Namine spoke up. "You didn't tell us you could sing."

"That's because I can't." I looked at her warily, feeling akin to a rabbit surrounded by coyotes. I was ready to knaw my own arm off to get out of there.

In an act of desperation, Sora knaws off his own arm.

"Dude, you can fucking sing." Marluxia said, nonchalantly.

"No I can't." I was looking incredulous. How could they know I sang? I never sing! Ever! The end!

"I say you can." Axel said.

"But how could you know?"

"Well, rocket scientist. We heard you."

"How?"

"I have ears!"

"I know how! But I wasn't singing." I looked at Namine helplessly.

She nodded. "You were singing."

Oh god and I didn't even notice it. I'm going crazy. I can't control myself. Next I'll be wearing Depends.

Axel started talking with Marluxia and Demyx, ferverently going over plans.

"He can sing, and I'll play bass." I heard him say.

"You play shit on bass." Demyx replied.

"I can so!"

"Before we get into a fist fight, I have an idea.." Marluxia said. They both looked expectantly at him. Oh great the crazy leading the crazier. "You both sing, he plays bass and you play guitar too."

Demyx smirked. "I missed you by my side strumming away." He said laughing lavishly, shining with sexual delight.

Axel contemplated it for all of five seconds. Before yelling out "Genius!" and thanking his fellow partners in crime.

"Dr. Marluxia and Dr. Demyx, thank you for being here on this most momentous occasion!"

"My pleasure Dr. Axel!" Dr. Demyx replied.

Who ever gave those three their doctorates should be shot.

Axel rounded on me. "So what do you think?"

I shook my head. I don't sing. I barely play guitar. I can't front this band! "I--I don't think so."

Axel gave me puppy eyes. "Pweash." He mumbled. Luckily I wore my anti-puppy-eyes underwear today.

Always prepared... just like a boy scout.

"I'll think about it." I said quickly. I glanced at the clock. "Oh well, look at the time. Gotta go!" I unplugged my bass and hauled ass out of there, not even looking back.

I am a master of the quick getaway.

I threw the front door open and ran across the street, jumping a fence and going through someone's backyard. No I don't think they're following me! This isn't some high speed chase!

I just had to get back to the beach. The sun was setting and I was restless, roaming the sand without a thought in my mind, but thinking too many thoughts all at once.

I rubbed my arms but I wasn't cold. My bass banged against my back with every step but I wasn't thinking about that.

I felt like wanderer.

I couldn't go back home now.

I couldn't face Roxas and tell him I wimped out of Axel's band offer. Hell he was offering to let me front the damn thing. But I can't. I'm just Sora. I'm not some punk-emo-skinny-jean-wearing rocker.

So I settled for pacing around the beach as if all my answers were written in the sand in front of me.

Axel took a long drag on his cigaratte and blew the smoke out of his nose.

He offered it to his companion who took it, contemplated it and tossed on the ground.

"You owe me yah bastard." Axel growled.

Riku smirked at him. "You offered."

"Yeah, well I offer a lot of stuff and you never take me up on it." Axel grumbled.

Riku pinched his cheek playfully. "You have a boyfriend you sex crazed pervert."

"Speaking of my boyfriend... His brother played with us today."

"Sora?"

"Yeah, Sora."

There was silence for a moment.

"So you jealous?"

"No, only mad that I didn't find that kid first."

"He can fucking play, that's for sure."

"He can fucking sing."

"Yeah but you already have a front man. Or did you forget?" Axel teased.

Riku smiled but it was sad, not joking.

"So what did you come here for you fucker?"

"You know."

"I know?"

"Yeah."

Axel mumbled and pulled another cigaratte out of his sweatshirt, stuck it in his mouth but didn't light it.

"So did you do him yet?" Axel asked.

"No, I barely know him. I want to make this special."

"Yeah you, make it special. Don't make me laugh."

Riku looked at him and Axel started laughing.

"You're right. It'll just be sex."

Which only made Axel laugh harder.

End Chapter

Arty - Alright! Things are starting up and that is like the fastest I've ever written! Luckily no complaints so far... but keep in mind this story isn't going where you think it is. Do any I my stories ever go where you think they will?

Oh Riku you little sex crazed monkey!

And thanks to Disco Dancing on the Roof for being my beta reader!


	4. Philosophical Dreamer

Boys of Summer

By Fearless_Dranzer

_I can see you-_

_Your brown skin shinin' in the sun_

_I see you walkin' real slow and you're smilin' at everyone_

_I can tell you my love for you will still be strong_

_After the boys of summer have gone_

Chapter 4 - Philosophical Dreamer

Axel swept his flame colored hair out of his eyes and glared at Roxas. They were currently lounging on the couch in front of a TV at Axel's house, both could hear Namine cleaning up in the kitchen. "Roxy you never told me he could sing." He said as he nuzzled his head into Roxas' shoulder.

"Hmm? What? Who?" Clearly Roxas was distracted.

Axel pulled away from Roxas, sitting back so he could look his lover in the eye. "Your brother, Sora. Remember him?"

"Wait are you telling me you he can sing?"

"Yes Sherlock. How come you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know. I've never heard him sing before." Roxas was puzzled, shy Sora actually sang in front of them? He almost had a hard time believing that Sora actually managed to audition for the bass part and not faint. "How the hell did he manage not to drop dead from shyness?" Roxas asked.

Axel shrugged and Roxas' eyes followed the motion of his hero-in-chic sized boyfriend's shoulder. He was almost skin and bones and gave the illusion that a strong wind could blow him away, not unlike Sora. But it was the skinny ones you had to worry about. When needed, they could turn into real powerhouses. "Well we were playing—Boys of Summer—and Namine noticed he was singing—well moving his lips-- she thought he might've been talking but she didn't know. So she turned down the amps, heard him singing and pulled me over to listen. And boom! Instant magic. You know it was like one of those moments where you know you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Kinda scary. Kinda stupid…' Axel trailed off and looked away from Roxas, he realized he was rambling.

Roxas moved Axel's face so that they were looking eye to eye. "I know what you mean." He said simply.

Axel looked away again, it hurt to look at Roxas. He looked too much like Sora.

"What's the matter!? You've been so strange and distant! What's wrong? Did I do something?" Roxas complained, catching his boyfriend avoiding his gaze again.

"No; that's not it." Axel said still looking away.

"Then what? Axel, you can tell me." Roxas spoke softly and stared at Axel with something akin to 'puppy dog eyes'.

"Please? I know you better than anyone." Roxas ran his nails lightly down Axel's arm and took pleasure that he could still make Axel shiver with delight.

"It's Sora." Axel said simply.

Roxas fixed Axel with a stern look. "What about Sora?" Instantly he was defensive over his twin brother, their earlier fight had already been forgotten and he had once again slipped back into his role as the older twin brother.

Axel looked at Roxas and seemed to be searching his boyfriend's bright blue eyes for a way to make this simpler. Axel searched for a spark of compassion, those cerulean eyes were so unlike Sora's but he could see the family resemblance in the facial structure, the almond eyes, the full pouty lips. "How much did you say he liked Riku again?"

Still on edge but slightly relieved, Roxas visibly relaxed. "Oh, he's totally obsessed, and has been ever since he set eyes on him a year ago. And you know what's funny? Them going out doesn't seem like such a crazy idea. Oh, to him it's like an impossible dream, but he doesn't really see what a good person he is or how cute he looks. He just doesn't have good self-esteem." Roxas lost steam and died out.

"Oh shit." Roxas whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Who? Who is it Riku's after now?" Roxas asked, he was almost afraid to know the answer. Riku was notorious for sleeping around, Roxas had almost forgotten and he wasn't above flirting with anything that had two legs and breathed.

"Marluxia."

"It'll be a one night stand."

"Maybe. Everyone'll talk about it—they always do."

"And Sora'll find out." Roxas said quietly. "He'll be crushed you know. He takes stuff so hard and he's such a prude sometimes."

"Yeah, but he must know how Riku is! I mean he _loves_ the bastard, he must know everything about him! How could he not know?"

"He knows. It's just, it's almost like he can't help himself. You can't help who you fall in love with." Roxas said, he gazed out the front window, sun was about to set and the sky had the appearance of a bruised fruit.

"You Heart boys have serious issues with love."

*

I miserably dug into the wet sand with my big toe, creating a shallow groove that was quickly filled back in when the water rushed up. The wave receded but this one had come farther up than the last one so I tightened the strap on my guitar, worried that the water would touch it. Anyone else would be happy in my position, so why couldn't I be happy? No matter what I did it always seemed like I was empty, I was happy but only to an extent, something seemed to be taking up the inside of my body; destroying me from the inside out like a tropical parasite.

I tried to examine the feeling from different angles but no matter where I looked, it always seemed like I was hollow, like those chocolate bunnies you get for Easter. I was like a puzzle with missing pieces, the outside of the box looked fine, but the inside was sub par. And it hurt. It hurt to feel broken but to be physically all right.

How many nights had I stayed up and felt too empty to cry? Heard the laughter of my brothers and wished to be like them?

My pity party is almost making me want to vomit.

I feel like visiting different parties. I'm done with emo-Sora, but I don't think I can break away. Emo-Sora always seems to be there lurking in the corner of my vision, hidden underneath the layers of my skin. I wondered if I could peel away enough layers so that he would be set free. Nah too morbid.

See I can't even do emo right! I have to always throw in the jokes…This is getting ridiculous.

I stuck my tongue out at the horizon, tasting the salt in the air and the pure island breeze that was palm trees and tropical flowers. I looked above me and the sky was already a deep purple, like a healing bruise, and slowly I could see it fade to black before my very eyes. Stars appeared like glittering gemstones reminding me of Riku's hair.

I sighed, everything goes back to Riku. I put my hand over my head, lacing them in my hair and started walking down the shore, horizontal to the waves. I could see bird's footprints crisscrossing in front of me in the sand, but the waves washed them away; the waves washed everything away.

The waves cleansed the shore of yesterday's dirt and yesterday's memories. Only shallow imprints ever remained, eventually they too would be out, yet another 'last week's latest fad'. I wanted to be like the sand, to get a new template everyday to work upon. But it was a sad life, who wants to forget yesterday's memories?

By now the sky had gone black and the sun had set, the temperature dropped quickly as it is wont to do on islands and I stepped into the still-warm surf. My cell phone rang and I dug around in my pockets until I came up with the damn thing. It was Roxas sending me a text message.

_R u coming home soon?_

I quickly tapped back a yes and started walking back to my shoes and proceeded home. Yes, I entertained the thought of leaving the fugly shoes behind to get sucked back into the sea from whence they came, but Roxas loved them and knowing my luck they're probably worth a bazillion dollars or some shit like that.

I walked back barefoot observing people around me, they seemed genuinely happy to do simple things, walking a dog, running down the street, playing with a best friend. I wanted to be like that. When I stepped through the front door I felt like I could be like that, and I knew all it would take was a spark of belief—I could do it.

I walked into the kitchen past Cloud and Roxas and my mother sitting at the dinner table and picked up the phone, using the caller ID I dialed Axel's number.

"Hello? Sexy beast residence?" Axel answered.

"I'll do it." I said.

"Sora is that you? Are you serious? I thought I'd never hear from you again! Dude this is fucking awesome!" Axel yelled in my ear, then let out a cry of happiness. "I didn't think you'd ever talk to me again, you looked so scared!" Axel laughed.

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind."

"This is great! Come over tomorrow! We can play some songs, screw around it'll be good." Axel offered and I quickly agreed, promised to see him tomorrow and hung up. I sat down at the table and helped myself to some rice, feeling everyone's eyes on me.

"What was that about Sora?" My mother asked. Her blue eyes were puzzled and she had her long brown hair pulled into a high ponytail that let her curls cascade down her back. She was a sweet woman, slow to anger and full of compassion and happiness.

"I auditioned for Axel's band. They want me to sing and play bass." I answered as nonchalantly as I could, feeling Cloud and Roxas' eyes staring at me.

"Really!" My mother clapped her hands together. "I'm so happy for you, Sora! I'm glad you get to show off your talents." She picked up her chopsticks and pressed her bowl to her lips, shoveling in the rice. My mother was a simple woman, not one to let the little things in life bother her. She took everything in stride, even her sons' decisions that they were gay. But she was like a nervous mother hen at times, over protective when someone threatened her babies.

"That's good Sora." Roxas said, and I could see happiness for me in his eyes and I took a deep breath, this wouldn't be hard.

Strangely Cloud remained quiet and when I snuck a glance at him, he was lost in thought, staring at the ceiling.

When we finished dinner I went over to Kairi's house, where I found her home alone lounging on one of the couches with a Seventeen magazine over her face, fast asleep. I had let myself in as I do occasionally and laughed when I saw my best friend. And she called me a goof ball.

"Kai." I whispered as I poked her in the cheek and lifted up one of her eyelids. She snapped awake with a shriek.

"Sora! Don't do that to me! You scared the shit outta me!"

"I know I'm so horrifying." I joked back.

"Ewww! You should wear a bag over that thing." Kairi laughed as she pointed to my face with a fake look of horror. Then Kairi sat up and a conniving grin worked its way onto her face and I felt real fear and horror in my stomach. No good ever came of Kairi's 'conniving look'.

"Soo...Roxas and I were having a little chat earlier." Kairi began and my stomach settled, she was only trying to drag out gossip, no soul examining today.

"Never a good thing." I interjected. And she laughed, 'cause it was true.

Kairi flicked her hair out of her face with a snap of her head and I could instantly see why guys loved her every guy except Tidus that is. "He told me about the band! I'm so proud of you! Sora, you goof! You did it!" She was genuinely happy for me and laughter danced in her eyes. For a second I felt a million miles away as I celebrated with her. How many people do you see now-a-days who are genuinely happy for some one? My heart ached for love for this girl who was like my sister. We're close in a way that only the best of friends are and the most perfect of sisters. We fit so well together I wonder sometimes if she wasn't meant to be my twin instead. But we can't change the lives we're born into. God knows I've tried.

"Guess what!" She screeched and I, caught up in the moment screeched back.

"What!?"

"Word on the street is that Riku's coming over for practice tomorrow! Apparently Axel bragged about you and Riku's jealous!" She yelled. My stomach dropped, I can't sing in front of Riku! But instantly I swallowed it down, because now I'm Positive Polly, not Negative Nancy. Yes; I do make up names for myself.

"Really? Oh wow. I hope I blow him the hell away." I replied almost to myself.

She smiled so sweetly sincere I could feel my heart melt. "You'll knock their pants off." I wish.

We both looked at each other and cracked up.

Then she was all business again her eyes narrowed as she appraised me from where she sat. "What outfit are you planning on wearing?" I shrugged as I didn't rightly know.

"Well he commented on my Alice Nine t-shirt at the party."

"Alright, good! You've made progress, you found out a band he likes. Now is it Alice Nine or J-Rock that he likes?"

"Ummmm. J-Rock?"

"You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

"Not a clue."

We both looked at each other and laughed again and I knew deep down that we were the best of friends and no one could ask for more.

We spent the better part of four hours planning and fooling around. And even though I had my own love problems I could see how much worse off Kairi was.

Is there anything worse than being in love with your best friend?

It's sort of like a damned if you do, damned it you don't sort of situation. You can't tell your friend you're in love with them because, what if they don't love you back?

Or what if they do love you back and you realize, oh hey, I don't love them anymore? What's worse if you never tell them it just eats you up inside trust me. Love like Kairi's would make me wanna feel like dying any day of the week.

But then, it isn't that different from my own is it? She's in love with Tidus, our best friend; I'm in love with Riku, my brother's ex-boyfriend. Trust me, there are similarities, there's a friend in both of them for Christ's sake!

I felt like I hung out with Kairi for forever and goofed around just like I always would, but for some reason it was different. That strange feeling I get occasionally, the one where suddenly I'm an observer in the room hit me so many times I knew _someone_ must be trying to tell me something.

She was so in love.

It was borderline obsession.

She was me.

I was sadder for Kairi that night than I ever was for myself.

*

I left Kairi's that night close to midnight and as I walked home the wind from the ocean chilled me in my summer clothes. On an island like this, the night is cool and the beach is even cooler. But ironically, the water is always the warmest.

I was going to go down to the water again but from where I was I could hear the sound of the waves crashing on the beach and it wasn't as soothing as I thought it would be.

I walked on home and opened the door quietly. The television was on and it cast an eerie light over the hallway and living room. I peeked in and it was a late night silent horror film which probably explained why Cloud was fast asleep on the couch.

Cloud was my older brother and for as long as I'd known him he'd never been afraid of anything. Even when my parents were splitting up, he was a rock in my sea of remorse. Nothing ever scares him. Yet falling asleep on the couch was so unlike him, I guess love makes a mess of everyone right? Not even Cloud is immune.

He looked so peaceful lying there in the blue light of the TV, it was the closest I'd been to him in days and I couldn't help but feel ashamed about that. We were brothers why spend so much time hating each other?

Even as I watched him I could see his features become troubled as his dreams became malevolent, and the coward that I am, I left before he could wake up.

I walked up the stairs quietly and could see my mother through the crack in her door reading a romance novel. It was one of those extremely cheesy Fabio-covered ones. You know what I mean. Even powerful women have their vices.

The door to Roxas' room was closed and I didn't bother to open it, instead I fell into bed and was quickly enveloped in a dreamless sleep.

*

I woke up to the sun shining in my face at about seven. I'm a morning person—sue me.

I woke up and stretched like a cat and managed to fall off the bed with the grace of a meatball. I groaned in defeat as I stared up at my ceiling and cursed it with every inch of my being.

Ceiling, this is all your fault.

The house was silent and I knew my mother had already left for work, she's working on a big case and crap like this always turns her in to some pyscho-motivated mad woman. I don't mind most of the time, it's nice too know she's happy doing what she loves.

My cell phone vibrated and I checked it, it was an hours old text message from my mother.

_Sora! I'm so proud of you and of your acceptance into this band. Good luck sweetie!_

My mother would support the three of us no matter what, and moments like this just prove it. I smiled and already I knew my day was looking up.

I made waffles for breakfast and loaded them down with ten pounds of syrup, sugar is a teenage homosexual's best friend. Hormonal teenage girls have Ben and Jerry's, I have Mrs. Butterworth. Don't judge me.

I ate and absent mindedly flipped through the newspaper my mother had brought in earlier. A strong tropical storm was building to the west that could by pass us or could smash us to holy hell. What else was new living on an island?

Three waffles, a bowl of rice and two fortune cookies later, I was done with lunch and it wasn't even 8:30. My brothers wouldn't start to stir in their rooms for another two hours. They are not morning people and when I say that I'm being incredibly generous. If I told you their true nature I'd have to kill you. Knowledge is a very dangerous thing you know.

I threw a lacrosse ball at the wall a few times I was so bored, but it started to create scuff marks and I knew my mother would hang me from the ceiling fan by my underwear if I messed up her precious home, so I stopped that.

I walked from room to room picking up photographs and laughing as I remembered the stories behind them but I soon grew bored of that a realized I was anxious and nervous to the extent that I was randomly pacing.

I think at one point I even developed a nervous tick.

I walked up into my room and spotted my guitar, if I took it outside my brothers would never hear it and I wouldn't have to suffer the wraith of those-who-aren't-morning-sleepers.

I picked up my old acoustic guitar that I rarely used anymore and grabbed my iPod. I got settled outside in my backyard under a tree when I realized, what's a jam session without the brain food? And went inside for some nutritious Dr. Pepper and Mrs. Buttersworth. So, yeah, word of warning, do not use the syrup in my house—I tend to drink it straight from the bottle.

I brought out two cans of soda because playing guitar makes me really thirsty, no; I just was feeling fat and greedy and wanted to kill myself with a sugar and caffeine overload. Yum, heart-attack-causing-caffeine. My fav.

I sat back down outside under a big tree that cast a lazy shadow over a third of my yard and stared off at the house next door wondering if they were vampires because I don't think I've ever seen them outside before. I think the caffeine is starting to seriously get to me. Oh well, I just won't sleep tonight. Sleep isn't really essential to a growing boy my age anyway.

I put the guitar in my lap and absentmindedly started to play a few notes, not even caring what it sounded like. My attention was caught on the huge clouds that floated off at a distance. They were whiter than snow and were creamy like looking at mashed potatoes. I couldn't help but look for the 'silver lining'. Unfortunately silver reminded me of Riku and I realized I couldn't just sing in front of him. I checked my watch and I had a few hours to go, but I was already too nervous to play my guitar. My fingers skittered over every note.

I walked back inside, into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Towards the back, hidden behind the soda, was my brothers alcohol stash, My mother doesn't care if he drinks so long as he's responsible about it. She was always a free spirit so it's a bit strange that she's a lawyer. I pulled out a beer and stared at it with a mixture of awe and disgust.

I don't like drinking. In fact I hate the taste of beer and I hate the way it makes fools out of even the smartest people, namely, my brother Cloud. But right now I'm a little stressed out and if Riku so much as looks at me, I just might piss my pants.

So, now you understand my dilemma. Should I drink alcohol, even though I hate it? I stared at the golden liquid and the conflict was purely evident in my face. I looked up at the fridge and there was a picture of my mother. She was smiling and happy and my father wasn't there. Not only had my father been a close-minded bastard, he'd been known to like his drink, a little too much.

Around the time my brother came out, he started to drink more and more and he just got angrier and angrier. Maybe that's why Cloud's an angry drunk, maybe it just runs in the blood.

Slightly disgusted with myself I put the beer back in the fridge and it was like I never touched it in the first place. But that didn't stop me from being pretty embarrassed by myself. I'm not my dad and I'm not even Cloud.

I didn't ever want to be like either of them. But I can't help being jealous of them. Both are dicks and yet people still love them. I consider myself a nice, fun person, so why doesn't anybody love me?

I hate this shit.

I went outside and sat back down by my tree, a beautiful bird was singing, its feathers the color of the green sea and I still wasn't happy. I picked at the grass almost as much as I picked at my guitar and I was over come by dark thoughts.

Could it be possible that I was even worse than my father and Cloud?

Was that why no one loved me? Or am I just being ridiculous? But it hurts you know, it hurts every day to see people walk by with the ones they love while you have nothing. But it won't be that way for long, soon I'll have Riku and I'll have everything I need. I have a band, I have friends and I have an insanely cool brother. Isn't that all anyone needs?

I must have sat there feeling sorry for my self for a while because soon enough it was late enough that I felt I could risk going over Axel's house without waking him up. I packed up my guitar and hung the case over my shoulder. Roxas was still sleeping, the bum and Cloud was still holding residence, passed out on the living room couch. Both would probably be able to sleep till about four in the afternoon but with a little effort they might wake up before noon.

I hurried upstairs throwing on clothes that Roxas must have left for me last night. A pair of dark skinny jeans that I almost couldn't fit over my calves, the gay-pride-rainbow Nikes and a white shirt that I couldn't even be bothered to figure out. I think it might have had like sunglasses on it or something. There was also a purple bandana-scarf thing that I assumed went around my neck. But I could just be making it up. I left my hair spiked and couldn't be bothered with makeup. That's for sissies. Instead I put my acoustic guitar away and pulled out my bass in all its blue and gold glory.

I left the house not bothering to lock the front door, nothing bad ever happens in a neighborhood like this. I had my bass strapped to my back, a brand new skip in my step and an attitude that left no survivors. Come and fuckin' get me world.

The sun glared down on me hot enough to make anyone sweat but I was used to the heat and strange weather we seemed to be getting lately. In the shadows underneath the palm trees, the heat was bearable and the sun couldn't get at my eyes. I wished the sunglasses on my shirt were real because I could've fricken' use a pair.

The walk was short and I didn't even have to ring the bell because Namine spotted me walking up the steps. Godzilla came and greeted me at the front door again and then proceeded to try and destroy Tokyo by bulldozing me. I ended up wrestling the dog to the ground so that I could protect my guitar.

Namine sighed as she pulled him off me. "For some reason he really likes you. I guess you're just a dog person Sora." She giggled.

"Actually I've never had a dog. But I do think they're great." I offered lamely and apparently my lame attempt at friendship worked because she smiled and led me downstairs.

Axel was puttering with his guitar and he was the only one down there at the moment besides Riku...oh God act natural!

Axel spotted me and waved a hand. "Yo."

I sat down and Namine sat next to me. She was holding up a steady stream of conversation while I just nodded and pretending I wasn't having thoughts of Riku naked.

"Hey Sora." That delicious voice said.

"Hi." I replied back and offered him a tentative smile because I managed to talk without vomiting.

Riku had his guitar on the couch next to him and was watching me with a weird look in his eyes. "You know Sora every time I see you, you surprise me."

"I do?" Okay, what's going on here…?

"It's just I never knew you were into all this stuff." He motioned his hands around the room. Oh this again...I like stuff like this I'm just kinda always treading the middle path, the one of least resistance. I like everything basically.

"Doesn=t everyone?" I replied back with a laugh. "Well honestly, I'm only here because Roxy forced me. I never would've shown up otherwise." I joked.

"Hey! Hey. Don't write yourself off." Axel said. "You earned a place here. Dude, you fucking rock! I can't believe you haven't tried to find a band already."

Riku raised an eyebrow but I just shrugged. "It never crossed my mind you know?" I said.

"I know what you mean. I—" Riku got cut off.

"Okay, if you two are done kissing eachother's asses—Riku, you just gotta hear this kid play." Axel broke in.

I smacked him playfully for his comment and followed him towards the area of the basement they had set up for the band. Outside I seemed fine, moving with confidence that I just so didn't have. Inside I don't think I was really thinking… I was on some type of autopilot or something. Then my phone starting ringing.

I pulled it out of my pocket and was surprised to find my mother calling me. "Um… Axel, sorry but I gotta go answer this." I motioned to my phone and he nodded and dismissed me with a wave of his hand. It was too loud in there to hear my phone so I walked out to the backyard.

It was an average sized backyard, but Godzilla the Dog was running around in it making it suddenly seem cramped. I answered the phone and it was nothing important. My mother just wanted me to know she'd be staying at the office extra late and to tell my brothers that when I got home, we'd have to make ourselves dinner—not that us making our own dinner was anything new for us. Mom usually was at the office.

I could see Godzilla eyeing me so I wrapped up the conversation quickly; that the dog might decide I looked suspiciously like Mothera or something. I turned around to let myself back in the basement, but apparently the door locked from the inside. I could see Axel and the other guys already tuning and playing their instruments, they wouldn't be able to hear me even if I started pounding on the door. I flipped my phone open in case I needed to use it to call Axel to let me in but that seemed too much like the Flintstone's opening.

I was contemplating showing off my ninja skills by sliding in a window when I heard low voices. The way they were talking had me instantly weary. Quietly I walked to the corner of the house and peered around the side. I had to bite down on my lower lip hard to stop from crying out.

There was Riku and Marluxa, talking, their head bowed close together. I wouldn't have thought anything strange about it until Marluxa snuck in and bit Riku's lower lip. Riku pulled away and Marluxa tried to go in for another kiss but Riku evaded him again with a chuckle. He said something but from where I was I couldn't hear and than he knelt down and fumbled with the front of Marluxa's jeans. I heard the zipper go down and there was more fumbling. I couldn't tear myself away.

I knew what was coming and I knew it was going to tear my heart to pieces and I still couldn't look away. It's almost like when you know that kid's going to get hit by the car and you still can't look away. I'm a sucker for tragedy and heart break.

Riku bent his head down and when the sucking and moaning noises started up I thought I was going to be sick. I gasped for air pretty audibly and was about to turn and run when Riku looked up. I ducked back around the house, certain that he hadn't seen me.

"What was that?" I heard him ask from around the side of the house, but I was running too hard and too fast to hear Marluxa's response.

End Chapter

Arty – Ok, so we had a lot of suspicions about Riku's intents last chapter and I hope this was a surprise at least to some people because most were expecting rape. Come on you guys! A stud like Riku needing to rape someone? Come on, rapes only for ugly guys…

I understand this chapter was a while in coming, but honestly I couldn't get into the right mood for this story. Everything I was writing was just way too emo and not enough funny, so hopefully I managed to find a good balance of emo and funny this time around.

Thanks to my wonderful beta Dyn Rite. She's my life saver for her beta talents and her musical inspiration.


	5. Sweet Serenity

Boys of Summer

By : Fearless_Dranzer

_Out on the road today, I saw a black flag sticker on a Cadillac  
A little voice inside my head said, _

_"Don't look back. you can never look back."  
I thought I knew what love was  
What did I know?  
Those days are gone forever  
I should just let them go but —_

Chapter 5 - Sweet Serenity

I walked along the shore; the hot sand burnt the bottom of my callused feet but I didn't care. It was almost eight and the sun had yet to set but it was getting noticeably cooler. The sand still retained its heat and the ocean was still warm, when night fell the sand would grow cold. But when night fell, the ocean would remain a warm inviting sanctuary.

I stayed there for hours, swimming by myself and when I got too tired to swim I laid out on the sand where the ocean could lap at my feet. Each wave came up further and further as the tide came in and eventually I wondered if I could drown myself by falling asleep here. Maybe, eventually, the waves would come up high enough that when I inhaled, the foamy sea water would surge into my lungs and choke me. It seemed like a lonely way to go. And even though I knew I was over reacting I couldn't help but let my mind be overtaken by such perverse and wicked thoughts.

It was almost midnight when I headed home. I walked so slow that the five minute walk extended to twenty. I didn't want to go inside where the walls would drown me in my own sorrow and reflect my feelings back at me ten-fold. I wanted to stay outside in the cool, humid night and never feel again.

I hopped the fence easily and decided I should try to sit on the deck to clear my mind. It was comforting for a little while and I felt cut off from the world, no one had called me or texted me in hours. OK, that was a little strange. No text messages? I reached down into my pocket to grab my phone and cursed when I didn't feel it in my pocket. In fact it wasn't in any of my pockets…wonderful. Just fucking wonderful. It was exactly what I needed to top off the crappiest day in history.

I sniffled and the tears ran silently down my cheeks, hot and salty. Suddenly I heard the sliding glass door behind me open and I tried to dry my face and hunched over, hoping whoever it was would just turn away. But they didn't. They took a few hesitant steps towards me, staggering by the sound of it. Then they sat down beside me.

I didn't say anything.

"Got fucked over again, eh little brother?" Cloud said. I could smell alcohol and nicotine on his breath, but under that, an insane kind of sanity—a soul eating itself from grief. Looking at him, I realized what a loss could do to a person. And I admit; I was horrified. He took a sip of a beer and for once he didn't seem mean, just jaded.

"I guess." I replied, shrugging a shoulder.

"You know what they say: nice guys finish last." He said with a sigh.

We both sat back, looking at the stars, contemplating what he said. We both knew he was right.

"Maybe we should both swear off boys and live as hermits." I suggested dryly.

This earned a laugh from Cloud and I realized he wasn't as drunk as I thought he was, he was just getting started. He handed me a beer and I untwisted a cap before downing almost half of it.

He whistled. "Trying to drown your sorrows, Sora?"

"Trying to drown a lot more than that." I replied and he nodded in agreement.

"It's Riku, isn't it?" He said suddenly. I started and almost dropped the beer. "I overhear you and Roxas talking—I'm not always sleeping you know."

"Yeah."

He was quiet for a few minutes. He stubbed out the cigarette he was holding and threw it under the deck where Mom wouldn't see it.

"You know why? It's because you're a wallflower." He said and nodded to himself as if that made perfect sense. He finished his beer and pulled another one out of the six pack he'd brought out with him. I knew there was more beer where that came from. I finished mine and grabbed another one too.

"A fucking wallflower…" I said.

"A fucking wallflower." He confirmed. "You never talk to him, you're always there though. Just hanging on the outskirts. Always there, but never the main focus. You're the background, floating from scene to scene, a constant presence but never mention in the final credits of a movie."

"Are you a wallflower?" I asked.

"I used to be and I am again." He said. "Just like you—overlooked by the guy I love." It was the most personal thing he'd ever revealed to me and I started to think that maybe being the same person as Cloud, it wasn't as bad as I'd first thought. At least we could be miserable together. "You see, Sora, some things never change. Guys like us don't get noticed unless we do something daring. To, kind of, stick out, you know."

"What happened to you Cloud?" I asked. Not questioning just his lost love, but everything. What had become of the older brother I'd once adored and looked up to? Was he lost or just locked away inside where Cloud kept his most precious thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, it seemed like Cloud had lost the one thing he'd treasured the most, his heart.

He laughed, bitter and jaded. He finished his beer and went for a third. I was starting to feel the buzz from my second one. "Let's just say, no one wants damaged goods." He sighed and guzzled his beer. His shoulders were hunched and his blond hair limp, the light gone from his eyes. My brother was damaged goods. He'd lost a lot of himself over the years and had gained a reputation for that.

And I knew why he did it; I'd tried to do the same thing myself. I laughed. "What the hell is so wrong with the Strife boys that we can't even get ourselves decent dates?"

He laughed too and I realized how long it'd been since I'd really heard him laugh. He held up his third beer and said, "To us, the Strife brothers who can't get dates!" I laughed and clinked my drink against his. "Maybe we should ask Roxas for some advice."

It was late by the time Cloud got up and got us more beer. I'd long gone past the 'buzz' stage and was in the raging-emo-alcoholic stage. It wasn't pleasant. The scene in the alleyway flashed through my mind and I sighed, a few tears leaking out. If Cloud noticed, he didn't say anything.

"So, who's this guy of yours Cloud?" I asked, my voice catching just a little as the tears flowed freely.

"His name's Leon… and he hates me." Cloud sighed and fell backwards onto the deck. I fell backwards too and for a few moments we just looked at the stars. Neither of us knew their names or the constellations, but that didn't ruin the beauty for us. Ignorance is bliss they say and I second the motion.

"That's alright; Riku wouldn't notice me even if I gave him a naked lap dance."

"Oh, I think he'd notice Sora—a lot of people would notice." Cloud laughed, "I'd probably have to call the police so that you didn't get gang raped or something." I snorted at this, not believing him.

"Hey, don't snort at me. Since when have I ever given you a compliment? I'm telling the fucking truth! People would kill to have you—and not just for a good fuck. I could make a killing selling you to the highest bidder." Cloud looked at me and even though his eyes were hazy and unfocused from the alcohol, I knew he was telling what he believed to be the truth.

"Oh yeah, if that's true why did I catch Riku sucking another guy off? A guy with _lavender_ hair for Christ's sake!" I complained, my voice slurring just a little.

He shrugged, "It might have something to do with the way you would freeze up and glare at him whenever he tried to talk to you. You were also so scared to do anything when he was near you. He probably thought you hated him."

"Maybe, I always got so freaked out when he was near me. Butterflies in the stomach you know?"

"Mmmhh." He agreed. "I can understand why he made you so nervous. He's definitely got that look, you know—the sex god look." He chuckled at first but than I started to laugh, which caused him to laugh.

Tears poured out my eyes as I laughed. We both laughed together. What he said wasn't as funny as it was sad, look at what both of us had done to get with a hot guy. In fact, I'm certain we were laughing at how sad and pitiful we both were.

"Was his hair really lavender?" Cloud asked once he could breathe and that just set us both off again.

I woke up the next morning with the mother of all headaches. But that wasn't the worst part. I also woke up with Roxas' face less than an inch from mine…and he was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Dude! What the fuck? You leave band practice without telling anyone, disappear for hours and show up too drunk to walk straight and pass out in my bed! What the hell is up with you Sora?" Roxas yelled at me, he didn't seem to want an answer because he stormed out of the room. Although in all honesty I can understand why he was so pissed, I probably ended up stealing all the covers from him and kicking him repeatedly in my sleep last night. I'm a violent sleeper.

I groaned--even moving my eyeballs seemed to hurt, but with Roxas out of my face and not yelling at me, I could actually hear myself think. I reached into my pockets to check the time but I couldn't seem to find my phone, then I groaned remembering how I couldn't find it last night. I was so fucked if I didn't find that phone. I sat up slowly to avoid giving myself a headache. I didn't feel nauseous which was good, but then again the Strife's were good at holding their liquor.

I quickly got dressed and grabbed an apple off the counter, I left without telling anyone. I started on the deck, checking underneath it and around it. I was retracing my steps to find my phone. I could try calling it, but it was definitely dead by now since it had been bitching about a low battery all day yesterday.

I cursed my bad luck and started retracing my steps; I made it all the way to the beach when I realized that it would be just my fucking luck to have lost it in the water. But I'd lost it during high tide; I wandered a little further up from the shore and looked through a couple of piles of seaweed. If I had lost it last night, it would be further up, along the high tide mark. I scanned the beach but couldn't find it.

I walked up the street towards Axel's house, my steps slowing to the point where my feet were almost dragging. I stood across from his house but was too humiliated to go knock on the door. Knowing Axel, when I didn't show up after the break, he would have called Roxas… and Roxas probably would have worried himself blue. I didn't want to listen to Axel chew me out for worrying my brother like that.

Instead I snuck around to the back of Axel's house and climbed his fence. What a surprise, no phone. I slid down off the fence and cradled my pounding head in my arms. My mom would kill me before she got me a new phone. And God only knows what happened to this one!

God, if you're up there, you and I need to have a serious talk. Like, I mean—come on? Does my life need to suck this much or is this _that_ much fun for you?

On second thought…don't answer that.

"Oh crap!" I moaned. I'd been on the phone when I heard those noises, I'd never put my phone away and then…. Oh god… Riku.

Fuck my life.

That was the only explanation. He must have found my phone; he was the one who noticed me in the first place…oh God. After he was done sucking off Lavender-boy he probably got up and noticed the bright fucking red phone in the grass! He probably picked it up and discovered it was mine after he went through all the pictures and text messages! All those text messages...About…him…self.

No! No! No! Whoever has my phone now knows how much I like Riku. It's there in plain text message! Why God, why? I know they say the Lord works in mysterious ways—but seriously? 'Cause this is so mysterious—it's borderline insane! Do I have to call in Nancy Drew or something to figure out what the fuck's up with my life?!

I dragged myself home and locked myself in my room. I contemplated what to do about the phone and my life for a few hours before deciding I need an older man's wisdom.

"Cloud?" I asked, knocking my knuckles against his door. I swear heard a grunt, so I opened the door tentatively.

Cloud was lounging on his back playing with one of the earrings in his ear. He was shirtless, with just a pair of skinny jeans on and belt with a huge silver buckle. "What?" He asked. Apparently he hadn't drank enough last night to effect him through to the morning. He looked at me with clear sky blue eyes that were ringed with gray.

"I have a problem." I said and sat on his computer chair, throwing off some dirty t-shirts and socks before I sat down.

"Take a fucking number." Cloud drawled. He rolled onto his back away from me and sat up. "Where the fuck is my phone?" He asked himself and he searched in his bed awhile before finding it. While he searched for his phone I stared at the strange mosaic of tattoos on Cloud's back. If my mother knew anything about them she obviously didn't care.

They say you get tattoos for a reason and I wondered what all the reasons behind Cloud's tattoos were. There were so many he could tell a book out of the pictures on his skin and nothing else. The multitude of colors rippled as he bent down to grab a discarded shirt. He stood up and leaned out an opened window to smoke the cigarette he lit. He slung the shirt over his shoulders not bothering to put it on.

He took a long drag of the cigarette and blew the smoke out his nose before he talked to me again. "Why are you asking me?" He asked and it was an honest enough question, so I gave him an honest answer.

"Roxas keeps fucking everything up."

That made him laugh.

"I'm mean, I know he's trying his hardest to help me…but the way he goes about things, I'd never do things like that—I mean, I don't even dress like that!" I waved a hand towards him and what I presumed was the general direction of Roxas at the present moment—somewhere northwest if my twin senses could be trusted. "I don't sing or play in bands! I don't know jack shit about J-Rock bands! What the hell is an Alice Nine for that matter?! I don't wear ten pounds of make-up and I don't wear jeans so tight I can't sit down or I'll split the seams!" I started ranting and at the end just threw myself face-down on his bed. How low I'd sank to resort to Cloud for dating advice and lost phone advice, but as last night proved—he wasn't as bad as I thought. He was Cloud under that hard-ass exterior… somewhere…

He snorted and smirked at me. "Why'd you bother to change the way you looked anyway? I could have told you that wouldn't have worked. Sora, shit—all you had to do was talk to the guy and you would've had him wrapped around your finger."

"What do I do now?" I asked my voice muffled. I lifted my head up. "I think Riku has my cell phone." He cocked an eyebrow at me. "It's a long story, but to keep it short—I saw him sucking off Lavender-boy and he looked up and saw me and I ran away but now I can't find my phone! And I searched everywhere! I had it in my hand when I turned to run away, but then I climbed the fence and POOF! No phone." I was breathing heavily by the time I finished.

"Sora, you are so ridiculous sometimes."

"Cloud! That phone has my life-long love confession for the kid and he has it!"

"You don't know he has it."

"Give me another fucking reason then for where my phone is! Help me get the phone back Cloud."

"Alright, I have an idea and you're probably not gunna like it." Cloud started and he stubbed his cigarette out on his windowsill before flicking it down into the garden below his window.

"Cloud, I'm a desperate man!"

"You always were dramatic." He said.

"Cloud!"

He held up his hands, "Fine, fine. There's a party tonight…don't roll your eyes at me! We're going to this party and I guarantee you, Riku will be there. All we have to do is distract him enough so that you can grab the cell phone."

"How do we know he'll have the cell phone on him?" I asked sensing all the flaws in Cloud's plan.

He sighed. "Trust me, I know him and he knows me. We dated for long enough for him to know he'll find me at this party tonight at Leon's house and I know him well enough to know he'll bring the phone to return to me 'cause he's such a fucking boy scout."

"If he has it." I added.

"If he has it." He conceded.

"Wait—how are we going to distract him?" I asked.

He smiled at me wickedly and I just threw my arms up in frustration. I'm Sora Strife, official dress-up doll for my brothers.

"Stop fucking moving so much Sora!" Cloud snarled at me around an unlit cigarette. He was trying to zip up a pair of skinny jeans on me that might as well have been a second skin. What is with my brothers and the skinny jeans? Cloud was wearing a pair of leather pants that made him look like he just ran out of a porno… a really hot gay porno. He wore a white v-neck shirt over that and a pair of leather boots. The man likes leather alright?

Me? Oh, he'd done a number on me. He'd left my hair at its usual messy state, globed generous amounts of eye shadow and eyeliner on my face and shoved me into a pair of his old Nike high tops that made my feet look like I practice Chinese foot-binding and had moved on to trying to pick a shirt out for me.

He put me in a lime green t-shirt with a picture of punked-out panda and put an orange and white sleeveless checkered hoodie on top of that. It made me recall images of a vomiting rainbow. I clashed miserably and he claimed I looked cute.

"Stand up." He commanded and I stood. He buckled a heavy belt around my waist that was too chunky for someone as thin as myself, but I guess that was supposed to be the 'look'. He stepped back to examine his handiwork before going rummaging through his draws and returning with a pair of sunglasses that looked like bug eyes.

He put them on top of my head and then shook his head before moving them to hang off the collar of my t-shirt. I sighed. "Isn't it weird that I'm going to a party at night wearing sunglasses?" I grumbled.

"There not on your face. You're not wearing them. Shut the fuck up." He took a step back and surveyed his work. "There now you look adorable." I scowled at his smile. He glanced at the clock and his smile faded. "Come on, we're getting picked up soon." He grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs.

"What the hell, Sora?" I heard Roxas ask from the living room as I was pulled past.

A car pulled up in the driveway. "No time, tell Mom we'll be back later." Cloud yelled before pulling me out of the house. The image of Roxas' confused and hurt face haunted me.

Cloud threw me in the backseat before getting into the passenger side.

"Hi Hi!" A high female voice said to me.

I turned around quick and smiled at the girl sitting next to me.

"You must be Sora, I'm Yuffie." She waved at me and smiled. How could anyone so nice and hyperactive be friends with a dick like my brother? Yuffie had chocolate-colored eyes and short black hair cut into a bob around her face. It bounced around her head as he moved. The brown shorts she wore and black tank top were tight enough that she grabbed attention but loose enough to stop anyone from getting the wrong idea about her.

"Umm, yeah." I replied.

"Oh-ho! So you are the famous Sora everyone's been talking about! I didn't know _that_ Sora was _your_ Sora, Cloud!" Yuffie said.

"Sora, famous?" The driver snorted. That was Tifa, I'd seen her around the house more often lately, for a while she stopped coming over which was strange considering her and Cloud have been besties since they were in diapers.

"Long time no see Tifa! Thanks for the compliment you old hag." I replied.

"Why you little brat!" She said.

Cloud and Aerith laughed. "Whoa, Sora try not to give Tifa a reason to ram this car into a tree."

"As if she needs a reason." Yuffie quipped.

"Wait a sec, Yuffie what did you mean by _that_ Sora, huh?" I asked suspiciously.

She glanced over at me. "It's just people have been talking lately about this guy named Sora."

"Now tell him the best part Yuffie." Cloud goaded.

"Well, Riku's been the one talking about you. It's like you've completely taken over his mind. He won't shut up about how much you've changed. I mean he'd been wanting to go out with Marluxia for a while and they even hooked up, but he broke it off almost, like immediately—said he already had someone on his mind."

I was silent for a second. "Cloud, you knew this?"

He shrugged his shoulder, "I heard the rumors, yes."

"YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" I yelled and smacked him over the top of the head.

Luckily Cloud's life was saved by the fact that we'd arrived at Leon's house. We stepped out of the car and let ourselves in. The music was almost deafening inside and there were people covering almost every inch of space. Tifa waved at someone and dragged Yuffie off with her calling out over her shoulder, "There's Vincent! We'll see you later Cloudy!"

Cloud waved them off and I sighed. "What now?"

"We wait and we watch," he replied.

He waded deeper into the crowd and I had no choice but to follow. We almost got separated, so at the risk of losing him I grabbed onto the back of his belt and let him fight his way forward. We ended up in the kitchen, where the noise was slightly less defining. There were three people there already, but besides them it was strangely empty. There was no alcohol or beer in there and people follow beer around at parties.

"Who's your new leech, Strife?" Some guy asked. He was leaning back against the counter with two of his friends and he smirked at my brother. "Did you have to pay this one too?" He moved his arm up to receive a high five from one of his buddies who was snorting at the laugh. He and his friends were big guys much bigger than me and my brother. There was a big brute of a guy off to the left, flanking the guy who'd just spoken. He had a mean look in his eye. The other guy was skinny but had those muscles that come with extreme skinniness—you always gotta watch out for the drunk skinny guys. The leader was some muscled asshole with gauges stretching his ears almost to his shoulders.

Cloud ignored him and embarrassed, I let go of his pants and stepped slightly further away from him, but still behind him enough that Cloud's bully's couldn't see clearly me.

"Fucking faggot." One of the guys said.

"Fuck you." My brother snarled at them, his hands clenched into fists.

"Oh, wouldn't you like that!" The leader said and he pushed off of the counter to come over to us. "Hey you know, I've never done it with a guy. And you look like enough of a girl that I could probably just close my eyes and it would feel the same!" His friends laughed and Cloud growled at him, deep in his throat.

My brother's eyes were cold and seemed to no longer be blue; they had lost all their warmth and faded to a light gray. When the guy took another step towards him, Cloud raised one of his fists. "Stay the fuck away from me, Grayson." He spit out.

Grayson laughed and grabbed Cloud's hand, throwing him down on to the floor. I was exposed. He kicked Cloud once before he noticed me.

"What do we have here? Who's your pretty playmate Cloud?" Grayson asked.

Oh crap. I looked around me and didn't see an exit that I could get to before he could.

"Stay the fuck away from him." Cloud said as he tried to sit up. But one of the other guys – Skinny – came forward and kicked him in the stomach. Cloud fell to the floor and groaned as he spit up blood.

"I say, we fuck 'em both." The third guy – the big one – said.

"Good idea Lars. Grab 'em, we're going downstairs." Grayson snapped his fingers and Lars came towards me. I turned to run but he grabbed me by the hood and lifted me clean off my feet. He shook me until my teeth rattled and I saw stars. Distantly as he carried me towards a wooden door in the back of the kitchen, I realized that I'd dropped Cloud's sunglasses and I knew he'd be pissed later.

"Cloud?" I asked, I was feeling nauseous and afraid from the shaking I'd received. I don't know if Cloud responded because Lars smashed my head against the wall and I blacked out for a few seconds before coming to.

I groaned and moved my hand to my head where I felt something warm running down my face. My fingers came back red—blood. In the time I'd blacked out, we'd made it halfway down the basement stairs and I could see Cloud in front of me, coughing up blood as he was dragged down the stairs. His face was red on one side and he looked dazed, they'd probably smacked his face against something when they carried him down.

Suddenly I was afraid. My big brother, who could always best me in a fight, was almost unconscious, being dragged down the stairs and about to get raped. I was in no better shape from my head-smashing ordeal, but as the time went by, my head grew clearer.

I was hanging over the big guys' – Lars I think his name is – shoulder, my face against his back and I knew I had a chance to get away and help my brother. I kicked as hard as I could aiming for where I hoped his balls were. God help me if he's a eunuch…nope? Jackpot! He howled and dropped me unceremoniously on the stairs, hunching in over himself. I didn't bother getting up; I let my momentum roll me down the stairs, crashing into the two guys carrying Cloud, sending all three of them crashing down.

I was dazed, sprawled out on the concrete floor with a small pool of blood under my head. I groaned as I tried to move but the pain in my head exploded like fireworks. I could already feel bruises forming and I couldn't move my left arm. I must have made quite a racket though; I could only hope someone heard it.

I could hear the other guys groaning but I couldn't hear Cloud coming to my rescue, so I guess my sad attempt to free him had failed or he'd finally lost consciousness. Suddenly Lars was standing over me and he spit down onto my face before mumbling some curses at me.

He grabbed me by the ankle and pulled me away from the stairs deeper into the basement. I let out a scream at the insane amount of pain that pumped through my system. I tried to kick at Lars, snarling at him and hissing like a cornered cat. "Get the fuck off me Lard!" I yelled. He pulled me over to an old couch were I could see Cloud lying and the other two guys trying to unbuckle his belt. I starting screaming like a siren, trying to get help, but it was useless. Even down here I could hear the pounding of the beat and from upstairs my voice would be muffled and nothing more. Not even a dog wouldn't be able to hear me screaming over the music.

By this time, they'd gotten Cloud's belt off and Lard was working on mine. I could feel his huge fingers trying to work the buckle. From here, it looked like Cloud wasn't moving and I shivered wondering if he wasn't just knocked out. But then I saw his chest rise as he breathed. He stirred slightly and Grayson punched him in the side of the face and my brother's head slumped over. His face was already bruised and blood had stained his white shirt.

My brother was down and out for the count. He couldn't save me--he couldn't even save himself. Grayson tried to unbutton his pants and I thanked god for a second that Cloud wore such tight leather pants. That would buy me a few more minutes. Lard undid my belt and started working on the buttons to my jeans and I kicked him, solid right in the face. He was probably three times my size but I wasn't a push-over. I was strong from all the hours I spent fighting the ocean waves. He was sent reeling backwards and fell off the back of the couch.

Grayson didn't even notice what'd happened. He was too busy trying to flip Cloud over. I ripped my belt out of its loops and launched myself at Grayson using the glass table behind him to attach to his back like some kind of deranged baby monkey holding onto its mother. I wrapped his throat with the spiked belt and pulled as hard as I could, trying to shut off his air supply. My arm felt like it was numb, but I ignored the feeling, willing my muscles to pull harder.

As Grayson started choking and clawing at his neck his buddy turned, "What the fuck?" He yelled and he came towards me. But I kicked Skinny away. He fell backwards onto Cloud who moaned and tried to hold onto him. It seemed he wasn't totally out of it. But he was too weak and the other guy escaped his grasp.

"Fucking broke my nose you little shit!" Lars yelled. "I'm gunna fuck you so hard you'll wish you were dead!" Oh crap, Lard sounds serious.

Lars had snuck up behind me while I was trying to strangle his friend and he punched me in the back near my kidney. My legs lost their grip on Grayson's back and I fell back, the belt getting ripped out of my hands. I flailed as I fell and smashed through the glass table. Glass showered around me and I felt horrible pain all over my back and could do nothing as Lars leered at me. His fat ugly face coming closer and closer to me. I tried to scream at him, "Stay the fuck away from me!" But it came out as nothing but a gurgle as my vision blurred and blood filled my mouth. I coughed and it ran down my chin.

I turned my head and saw Cloud. His eyes were open but he was held down by Skinny as Grayson pounded into my brother. I sobbed and looked at Cloud who's eyes were blurry and unfocused, but for a second they were clear. The look in his eyes stilled my heart. He looked so sad. _So sad_.

I'd never seen anything as sad as that look before.

I wondered why he looked so sad.

If I were Cloud, I'd be angry right now.

My vision blurred and blacked out. It came back, but I couldn't hear anymore, it was like walking through a haze. No! I struggled but it was like my mind was in a fog and it wouldn't respond to my body. Strangely my body no longer hurt and I wondered in the back of my mind if I was dying. It was like sweet serenity had descended on me.

Then I felt my pants being pulled down and I knew why Cloud was so sad.

End Chapter 5

Arty - Holy shit. I'm sorry I don't know where this came from. I've never written a rape scene let alone two rapes. I'm sorry if it seems like this takes up most of the chapter and I'm sorry if it offends everyone. But it's necessary for the invisible-non-existent plot line I don't have.

This story isn't planned out and so I'm going with the flow as ideas come to me, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel for Boys of Summer.

Thanks to my lovely beta Dyn Rite.


	6. Here Comes The Sun

Boys Of Summer

By – FearlessDranzer

Warning - Not for the faint of heart!

_I can see you--_

_Your brown skin shinin' in the sun_

_You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby_

_And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong_

_After the boys of summer have gone._

Chapter 6 – Here Comes the Sun

The whole time I wished to God that someone would come save me. I prayed and pleaded in my head for this to all stop. I wanted to get out of here; I wanted Cloud to get out of here. I wanted to be at home, safe in my bed being surrounded by sleep and my blankets. I didn't want to be here.

I wanted to be anywhere but here.

But I knew no one was going to find me. No one heard me yelling over the music, no one saw us getting dragged into the basement, no one would notice the copious amounts of blood on the kitchen floor. Even if someone did notice the blood—they'll never find us.

Too late.

The pain was unbearable and like nothing I'd ever felt before; it was literally like I was being ripped apart from the inside. There was nothing redeeming in the act and the only one getting any pleasure from it was the sick fuck at my back. All I could do was stay as still as I could until he finished. It took all my will power not to cry out in pain. I didn't have enough will to hold back the hot tears that leaked down my face.

And when they finally left, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I moved my head to the left to try to see Cloud but I couldn't move far enough to see him. I could see the fact that he was lying face down on the couch but beyond that—nothing. I tried to move myself but the shards of glass that had been stuck into my back were now embedded and I was soaked with blood, the floor was slick beneath me. My head was aching and my eyes burned from my tears; I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep.

I wanted to sleep for forever.

Forever.

And.

Ever.

So I did.

When I finally woke up it was to whiteness. Everything in my vision was white and I hoped to God I was dead. A half-second later and the pain hit me and I knew there was no way I was in heaven—God's just cruel like that sometimes.

"He's awake!" A voice whispered excitedly.

"Mom?" I asked, my voice sounding like gravel.

I couldn't move my head to see her but I felt her grasp my hand and then she was there, over me like an angel. Maybe... maybe this was heaven. I mean bad shit still happens but right now I don't think I could ever feel happier. With my mother here with me—right now—I felt like I was finally at the right place at the right time.

"Mom." I said and tears leaked down my face.

"Oh God, Sora." She said and her tears hit me on the cheeks and then she kissed me tenderly on the forehead. "Oh, Sora... Oh God. I'm so sorry."

"Mom." I repeated, it was all I could say.

"God, I couldn't even keep my baby safe. I couldn't keep either of my boys safe..."

"Mom," Roxas said, appearing at my side. "Calm down and don't worry about it. Sora just woke up; I called the doctor and she'll be here soon. Please Mom, just sit back down. You'll upset Sora." Roxas helped my mother sit down and there was a knock at the door and the doctor entered.

She was young and pretty, her dark hair pulled back in a bun and a clipboard in her hand. She pushed her glasses up onto her head and smiled at me, a genuine smile. "Sora, it's so nice to see you awake. I've heard all about you from your brother and mother. My name is Dr. Lucretia and you're at Destiny Island Hospital--"

"The hospital?"

"Yes, the hospital. You see Sora--"

I held up a hand. "It's OK, I remember now." I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep shaky breath.

I'd been raped.

I'd been beaten.

I hadn't been alone.

"Cloud." I said my eyes shot open.

My mother looked sideways and I could hear her sniffling, trying to hold in her tears.

"He's in the bed next to yours, he hasn't woken up yet but he's in stable condition and should be awake any time now." Dr. Lucretia's voice was so sweet and soothing that I wondered how she was able to do this job and not die a little bit inside everyday.

"But he'll be alright?" I asked worried.

"He'll be fine when he wakes up—which should be soon. Right now we need to focus on you though. How's the pain?" She asked.

"My head is throbbing." I said.

She wrote that down. "I'll have a nurse come in with some painkillers, they'll probably make you fatigued though. Anything else?"

"I can't move my left arm."

"That's because you broke your wrist and pointer finger."

I sighed, "That must have been when I fell down the stairs."

"That's another thing Sora, the police will want to come by now that you're awake to get your statement. No one really knows what happened that night and we need to get the story quickly." My mom had slipped into lawyer mode and I nodded my head along with her. My mother would go to court against those guys, but she'd probably rather try her luck in the parking lot afterwards. Hell hath no fury like my mother when her young is threatened.

Dr. Lucretia nodded with my mother's statement and I could tell from her eyes that she was sympathetic for me—she knew what had happened, but my mother's knowledge couldn't be that far behind.

"You'll have that cast on your arm for about 6 weeks, you have a lot of cuts and stitches in your back, we spent three hours pulling out all the glass after you arrived here. You've lost a lot of blood so if you feel nauseous please tell us and we'll give you medicine. You have a slight concussion, so we'll have to keep an eye on it..." she trailed off as she flipped through a few pages in my file. "Other than that you have just a few bruises and will probably be sore for a couple more days.

"How long have I been here?"

"A little over four days, do you have any other questions? If not, I'll let you get back to your family..."

"Thanks Dr. Lucretia, I think I'm fine." I said.

"Alright, feel better Sora." She left quickly and quietly and the silence that followed her was deafening. I sighed and braced myself for the story I'd have to tell my mother and brother, but first I had a few questions.

"Who found me?" I asked.

Roxas stepped up, he stared at his hands the whole time. "When it started to get late I got worried for you, I'd been calling Cloud for the last two hours, looking for you, and he hadn't responded. I even called Riku and Squall, neither of them had seen you two for hours and I got worried. They searched the house for you and Cloud and eventually found Cloud's sunglasses on the floor of the kitchen and there were a few blood smears on the floor. They kicked everyone out of the house and searched everywhere for you guys. They didn't find you until Riku called Cloud for the 5th time, then they heard his phone ringing. They followed the noise into the basement where they found you two. They called 911 and now you and Cloud are here."

There was a slight knock at the door and a pretty young nurse came in and gave me my medicine. She said it was great to seem me awake and hoped I would feel better soon. She was sweet and pretty but I could tell the job was wearing her down. She left as quickly as she came.

I sighed, "I guess I need to thank them."

"Sora, they thought you were dead. You were just lying there and there was blood everywhere around you... you'd lost so much blood. Dr. Lucretia didn't want to worry you but, your heart stopped twice when they were trying to close up some of the bigger slices on your back. You needed three blood transfusions and even then—we were so worried about you..."

Tears had been falling silently from my face and my mother was rubbing my neck softly so as not to aggravate my stitches.

"Riku was beside himself—he was so upset by what happened to you... he's been coming everyday to check up on you and he even brought you flowers." Roxas pointed to a table on the far side of my room, he had a faint smile on his face. I followed his finger and my eyes grew larger, the way Roxas said it made it sound like he gave me a small bouquet of get-well-soon flowers.

This was in no way a small bouquet of flowers, it was almost like a garden growing on my table—it even extended to the sink. There were flowers everywhere in exquisite glass vases that where the sun hit them, they sprouted rainbows that were sent dazzling across my room. My walls sparkled like they were imbedded with crystal. My breathe was caught in my throat. All the flowers were white. Beautiful pure white. Upon first glance they looked like roses but these petals weren't as delicate and didn't curve at the edges. They edges of the petals were sharp.

They were glorious gossamer gardenias.

As pure white as I was tainted.

As fresh as the day there were plucked, stems cut with a sharp knife in one swoop.

Their meaning was clear to all in the room to see.

A gardenia symbolized a secret love.

I sniffled and bit my lip hard. My heart ached. Riku did have feelings for me. He loved me even. But was it really me he loved? Or was it the false person everyone had molded me into? Who was the Sora Riku had managed to fall in love with? I wanted to meet this dazzling perfect creature.

"I don't understand." I sobbed. "He barely knows me and what he knows isn't even really me..." I trailed off choking on my own saliva.

Roxas went over to the flowers and fondled the petals faintly with his fingers. I guess it's just something that happens you know... one day you're minding your own business and wham! Like a ton of bricks it hits you that you've been in love for god knows how long. It's like this warm feeling has slowly been filling you for days but only now can you finally put a name to it... and when you do... you realize that it's been going on for far longer than you first thought."

"I-I... I just..."

My mother squeezed my fingers and a tear emerged from her pure emerald eyes. "Oh Sora..." she whispered. "Love is never something you can just understand... love... well your brother is right. Love just happens." She brushed my face and I leaned into her touch.

Roxas spoke again from his place by my flowers. "I think... I think it started the day Cloud brought him home to meet us. You remember right?" Of course I remembered it was the day I realized my older brother was going out with the kid I'd had a crush on since the 8th grade. "He'd come for dinner and everyone had so much fun joking around. He was a funny guy. But you... you sat there quietly and didn't say and word and I think that's what caught his attention. You were cold and distant because you were so shy, but he thought just didn't like him. You were probably the first person to ever not like Riku. And I think that's why he became to interested in you. He would ask Cloud constantly why you hated him and he asked me too. He asked us everything he could think about—he was obsessed.

And then when he and Cloud broke up he kept talking to you and hanging out with you. The band audition? He suggested it to me so he could hear you play. The time he picked you up and drove you home? I told him you left and he went. Finding you at the party? Not surprising since he had been searching for you even before anyone thought you were missing. He really liked you Sora; he was desperate for you to like him. Tried everything he could think of. And then all of a sudden you start talking to him. He was ecstatic."

I sat there quietly for a too minutes trying to believe what Roxas was telling me. It was too good to be true and answered my every prayer and hope for the last few years. There was no way in hell it was true.

"Look Roxas, I know you're just trying to make me feel better but if he liked me so much; why did I catch him with Marluxia?" I asked and Roxas' eyes went wide. He hadn't known that. I could see it in his face as he processed the information this made no sense. If Riku was so desperate for me to like him why did he always hook up with other people? Why did he sleep around?

Roxas was about to respond when there was a knock on the door. The door cracked open a bit and two police officers walked in. One was tall and african american the other a buxom blonde who looked like she would be more at home in a Bay-watch episode.

"Sorry to interrupt," the female officer said. "I'm Officer Higgins and this is Office Parker. We known this is a hard time but we'd like to get a statement from Sora about the attack the other night. The quicker we know what happened and who did this the quicker we can get them for this." She directed her statements and my mother. Her big blue eyes were hard but I knew from the tone of her voice that she was very sympathetic, she understood what it did to someone when they were beaten and raped. She'd probably seen it a hundred times.

My mother nodded and Roxas moved away to try and give the officers room to work. He went to the other side of the room where Cloud had been lying motionless for days. And the interrogation proceeded. It only took me an hour and a half to tell them the story and answer all the questions. My mother had yet to hear the full story and I'd expected her to break down and cry but she was in work mode and had to be strong. My mother wouldn't let something like emotion defeat her. Soon after they left and promised to call once they'd arrested the three rapists and once I was well enough they would stand trial.

Almost as soon as the officers left I could feel the drowsiness that had been at the edge of my consciousness for the past hour start to claw it's way around my brain. I closed my eye just for a second to rest and when I woke up again it was night time and I was alone. I could hear the steady beeping and hum of the machines surrounding me and my brother and a I could hear the sound of his heart monitoring machine beeping away. He was still alive. I listened to the sound of my own heart monitor's beeping and fell asleep again into tormented dreams.

I woke up numerous times in the night to tears wet on my cheeks and each time I sat there sniffling and quietly crying until the hum of the machines lulled me back to sleep.

Days past. I'm not sure how many. After that first night it was like the enormity of the situation hit me. I'd been _raped_ and _beaten_. My brother had been raped and beaten. And the worst part. My rapist had fled town. Someone had tipped them off that the police were coming for them and they'd fled to the main land where the police had quickly lost there trail. And on the mainland a criminal that gets lost stays lost.

My dreams tortured me. My waking thoughts tortured me. My mind screamed at me that I wasn't safe lying here prone in the hospital. My paranoia consumed me.

My eyes tired and my brain was exhausted my horrible sleeping patterns weakened my body further and my healing halted. I only slept when I became to exhausted to dream.

Kairi and Tidus came and visited me along with some other friends and even Cloud's friends stopped by. Leon showed up for a couple of days before work called his name and Tifa and Yuffie helped to lighten my mood because they were so playful, they tried not to show how upsetting it was that still Cloud hadn't woken up. His body was healing and he come out of the beating better than I had. His bruised face had swollen to a sickly yellow and he was no longer swollen. A couple hair line fractures in his ribs had already healed. His head was bandaged from where it been slammed and the probability of a concussion had faded. His wounds would heal and he'd physically be no worse for the wear, but my back would be a mass of scars and my broken hand might need surgery to ensure it had motion. I was damaged goods while he could live again.

But he didn't want to. My big brother had given up and would rather be a vegetable than live. Those fucks had defeated my big brother, my brother who never backed down from a challenge, who was always stoic and composed. They'd killed him inside and left him a shell. And I'd let that happen. What had been done to me I could forgive and forget but what had been done to my brother traumatized him so much that he didn't want to even come out of his dreams. He would live there forever happy than breach his safe world of fantasies and gossamer lies than live in reality.

If only he would wake up he'd see it's not so bad. I was going to make it. I wouldn't let myself be defeated emotionally by the ones who'd defeated me physically. They'd stolen my virginity and destroyed my body but there were things they couldn't hurt with their fists and that was still whole inside of me.

I wanted Cloud to wake up and understand my reason for living.

Still more days past and I found myself again able to sleep as the thoughts of my trauma slowly diminished. I was healing. Soon I'd be able to leave. I walked for the first time today and accidentally tore one of the stitches in my beck and had to have it fixed. The police stop by periodically but they've made it pretty much clear that while they are still actively searching, they don't expect to find my attackers. And I think I'm alright with that. My mother is fuming. But I'm going to get stronger so that the next time they meet me, they'll be the one's with their mother's crying over their hospital beds.

A day passed and then another and then I saw Cloud's fingers twitch. He'll be waking up soon—he's just waiting for the right time.

Roxas visits me everyday because my mother's has to go back to work. Every time he comes he brings a surprise; one of my friends, Axel, candy, silly little things that only I'd appreciate. The flowers keep piling up and the first ones I got are starting to go limp and I think that one of the nurses might throw them out soon. So I had one of the nicer nurses pick a flower off of each bouquet for me and I pressed them in a book to save them forever.

If Riku ever came to see me, I never knew.

The next day Roxas had to come late, school had started and he had to attend the first day of school. He said he'd collect stuff from my classes for me while he was there. For the first time during my stay in the hospital I found myself alone in the afternoon for the first time. I sat for a few hours and tried to watch daytime TV but between the soaps and the reality shows I quickly losing my mind. I shut that off and tried to sleep until the rhythmic sound of Cloud's heart monitor was interrupted by a knock at the door.

I quickly jerked awake as the door opened.

It was Riku.

I just stared at him and didn't say a word. He stood in the doorway and stared at me taking in the fading bruises the bandaged arm and the stitches that showed from where the glass had gotten me. He sighed and moved towards me sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry." He said, staring at his hands. Perfect tanned hands that he looked at with such a miserable expression that I wondered if there was some deformity there I couldn't see.

"What for?" I asked my voice scratchy from lack of use. I reached over and took a simple of water from the glass by my bed side.

"If I hadn't been so nervous to talk to you, this wouldn't have happened. You would have been safe with me instead of lying here like this." Riku said.

"You were nervous to talk to me?" I asked incredulously.

He smiled, embarrassed at me. "It's silly, but I always thought you hated me... I was afraid that if I tried to talk to you, you'd just like shoot me down or something..."

"Me shoot you down?"

"Well...yeah. You've always just had this... I don't know. You seem so untouchable sometimes."

"Untouchable?"

"Like some days you won't even give me the time of day and other days you'll talk to me for five minutes. We could be in the same room and you wouldn't even look at me. To you it was like I didn't exist or like I was invisible. You could totally ignore and even when you did glance at me it was like you could see right through me..." He only looked at my face when he was done talking, searching for a reaction and I don't know...

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"...I've never felt this way before... I barely fucking know you and I can't stop thinking about you. God knows how long I was with your brother imagining he was you. It was fucking wrong but he was as close as I could get to you..."

"What about when I saw you with Marluxia?" I asked, my eyes slightly tearing. This conversation was something I'd always dreamed of and now that it was happened it was totally surreal.

He turned bright red, "Not one of my brighter moments. I thought that maybe I could make you jealous-- at least get some fucking response out of you! You were like a person made out of ice. You were so alive and happy with anyone but me and I couldn't understand why. I messed that up Sora. But I've been trying to make it up. All these flowers..."

He moved his hand around and got up from where he was sitting on my bed and wandered around my room before grabbing a flower from a vase and proceeding to mutilate it. He ripped three petals apart before he seemed to notice what he was doing. He looked down, surprised at the flower lying in pieces in his hands. He dropped them in the garbage and walked over to my brother's side of the room.

Cloud was lying as still as ever. His body looked abandoned and I could tell looking at Riku's face that seeing Cloud there like that unnerved him. God knows it unnerved me too. He was Cloud, powerful impervious Cloud with a stubborn streak the size of an ocean liner—lying prone unconscious to the world in a bed for days on end.

"He'll be waking up soon." I said suddenly.

He looked at me. "I know," was all he said.

For that I smiled at him radiantly, it was like the sun had come into the room and was shining on us. Riku smiled at me and I basked in the brightness it cast on me.

Riku looked down at me and his eyes were full of so much anguish. "I feel so responsible for this. I feel responsible for hurting you and your brother. This whole thing has gotten so far out of control, I can't believe it. I went to such lengths to get you to notice me, I told Axel about you playing guitar. I'd overheard you strumming a few times and when Cloud told me you were actually good—well I talked Axel's ear off about you. Needless to say he forced Roxas to get you to come try out for the band. But I was surprised that you were so good. I mean you're like fucking perfect! Is there anything you can't do?"

"Yeah." I said softly.

He waited patiently for my answer.

"I couldn't get you to notice me without acting like someone else, someone other than myself. I had to change to feel like I'd be good enough for you to even notice. But worst of all I wasn't true to myself. I don't wear skinny jeans and ridiculously colored high-tops. I can't speak Japanese and have never listen to J-rock let alone heard of Alice Nine. I couldn't save myself or my brother. I can't do anything Riku." I said allowing myself a moment of self-loathing and defamation. It felt every bit as good as when I did it in my thoughts.

"Sora..." He said.

"No." I cut him off. "I don't want you to tell me it was your fault again. It was no one's fault. It happened and we need to get past it. We need to start over, give ourselves a blank slate. Pretend nothing ever happened."

He was silent for a moment and tucked a lock of silvery hair behind one ear. "Ok, Sora. How far back do you want this to start over?"

I stared at him a moment before offering my one good hand. He took it and we shook briefly. "Hi Riku, it's nice to meet you. My name's Sora. I don't like J-rock, my favorite song is Boys of Summer by the Ataris. I don't care that it's a remake and no Don Henley's version is not better. I'm not a 'human ice cube'. I'm really worried about making a good impression on you. And I think I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you."

He looked at me and laughed and it was a perfect as bells in the wind. "Hello, Sora. My name's Riku and I'm really glad to meet you.

Another week past and most of my stitches had dissolved. My bruises were mere shadows of themselves and my broken arm was on the way to recovery. It was my last day in the hospital and I was glad to be leaving. The sun had been shining for the past few days and it was taunting me that I couldn't go out and enjoy its warmth in my days of prison. It was slowly causing the ache in my heart to grow, but it was a welcome ache. It was an ache I was familiar with. It was that feeling you got when you were sitting in school on a gorgeous day and thinking that you should not be fucking inside when nature is obviously calling you outside to play.

I was able to walk at this point by myself but I need to be careful not to tear the few remaining stitches in my back. My legs were numb for sitting for so long without moving and I stretched my legs gingerly before standing up and walking over to Cloud's bed. I brushed some hair out of his face and sat softly at the edge of his bed. I'd been doing this for a while. When there was no one visiting me, I'd convinced a nurse to wheel me over to his bed so I could sit for a few hours talking to him. They say that when you talk to people in comas, they can actually hear you. If that was true I think Cloud would have woken up by now.

"They still haven't caught the schmucks who did this. They ran and obviously are pretty good at hiding, or they would've been caught by now. Is that why you're not awake yet? Are you afraid that they'll come back and do us worse?

I wouldn't worry about that Cloud, they're cowards and this time I'm going to be ready for them. I'll protect you. Riku will protect us. And Leon will protect you.

People care about you Cloud and by sitting here, you're hurting them. You're hurting me Cloud. If you cared anything about any of us—you'd wake up and come be Cloud for us again. I don't know how Mom's getting through every day; God knows I barely am. Roxas is the one holding us together—doing your job. You're the big brother, the man of the house. You should act like it!

I know it hurts... it hurts so bad Cloud—I wanna die. Some moments, when I start thinking about it—it's like I've lost my momentum and once I stop rolling I'm not going to be coming back. I distract myself every second of everyday, trying not to start daydreaming about it. I'm making it Cloud. I'm gonna fucking live. But you.... you've lost it big brother. "

I was silent for a moment; I'd never yelled at Cloud all this time. When he'd alive, AKA, not comatose; we'd fought and yelled. But this wasn't like the old fights. He wasn't fighting back. It wasn't fair. I despaired for a moment and put my head in my hands. My eyes were too dry to even spare a tear or two to shed.

I sat like that for maybe a minute or two.

When I looked back at Cloud, his eyes were opened to slits.

I jumped off the bed and knelt very close to his face, inspecting his eyes—too afraid to really believe what I was seeing. "Cloud?" I whispered, just to check.

His eyes moved underneath his eyelids and they slightly fluttered. He was _awake._

"Oh my God Cloud. Do you know how much you've worried us?" Now the tears started to freely pour down my cheeks and my body convulsed in hear-wrenching sobs. I could feel the stitches left in my back start to burn.

His eyelids kept fluttering as he tried to open them, but after weeks of keeping them closed, opening them in the harsh sunlight was almost impossible. I grabbed his hand and squeezed and his fingers flexed in mine. I laughed at this. Something so trivial was making me so happy.

"Cloud, I'm going to call the nurse." I said and I pressed the call button above his bed about fifteen times before I was sure my point was made.

I got up from his bed and grabbed the phone resting on my night table and dialed my mother's cell. On the second ring she picked up. And just as a nurse came running in the room I told her, "He's awake." And a hysterical sob of happiness escaped me.

I was out of the hospital, Cloud wasn't. I was able to walk, Cloud wasn't. I could go see my friends, Cloud's friends could only go to see him. I could go to school, Cloud couldn't. I could get past all this and so could Cloud.

My stitches were gone, my face was unblemished, there were scars on my back and my hand was almost fully healed. Everything was going to be OK.

Cloud is starting to walk again and he can talk but only in short sentences; his throat's not really up to it—that and the shock at what happened. He's having a harder time recovering than I did, he's really taken all of this to heart. Granted, I had a longer amount of time to myself to think my way through the mess my life had become; he's something of a celebrity here, since he woke up out of an almost self-induced coma. The doctors said after he got smashed in the head a couple of times, he fell unconscious and that he never woke up and fell into a coma. We're still not sure how that could of happened, maybe his body was protecting his mind because now that he's awake you can tell that Cloud too, is damaged goods.

I've started school again and am making my way from class to class very gingerly; taking life one step at a time or it might crush me like a fucking tsunami. But I'm trying and so is Cloud.

I've gotten rid of my tight skinny jeans in favor of my old crappy ones with the unintentional holes in the knees. My footwear of choice? Flip flops. Doing my hair? Never heard of it. Make up? For girls only.

I was me again and nothing was standing in my way.

They still haven 't caught our attackers and I don't think they ever will. But I also don't think they'll come back here again.

Riku talks to me now and we hang out occasionally. Sometimes I catch him looking at me with this hungry stare and I shiver because I can feel what he's feeling and it's only a matter of time.

Leon's been to see Cloud and I think it's because of him that Cloud is actually recovering. Somehow Cloud managed to catch Leon's eye and Leon managed to fall in love with him. They're almost always together now and I've never seen Cloud so happy. It's just one of the many good things that has come out of this hell. I'm not certain but I think the coma was Cloud's way of trying to kill himself. He just couldn't take it anymore; Sephiroth, his rape, my rape, my scarred body, his scarred heart... We're damaged, but people still want us.

And that I find unbelievable.

Summer's over now and I'm trapped in school. But they'll be other summers and for other people, other boys. But for me there's Riku and I've never felt happier.

I lay my head down in the sand and stare into his blue-green eyes and I can't help but to let out a barking laugh. It's just so strange to me that things actually worked out in my favor. Then he starts laughing because I'm laughing. When he finally gets up he brings me with him and brushes the sand off me.

Simba is bouncing around us in circles, hoping one of us will finally throw his stick. But he's acting as if we haven't thrown the stick a million times and that the reason we're on the ground isn't because we're so tired from throwing the stick.

As we walk back to his car, I can hear the waves crashing rhythmically into the shore behind me.

"I love the beach," I said. He smiled. "The beach is a place where you can always start over new, because in another twenty-four hours, there won't even be proof that we were here. The beach is a blank slate—somewhere where you can always start over."

"Ok, Socrates. Stop philosophizing and get in the car." He jokes, but I can tell he understands me.

I open the passenger door and Simba hops into the backseat while I settle in the front. Riku slams his door shut and turns the key in the ignition and the radio turns on.

_I can see you--_

_Your brown skin shinin' in the sun_

_You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby_

_And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong_

_After the boys of summer have gone._

The End

Author's Note – This is the final chapter and I'm ending it on a good note--hopefully. I feel like the ending is a little lackluster and that there's no climax but I'm hoping that everyone can realize that for Sora the rape was a lesson. If he was himself and wasn't afraid to be with Riku, he never would have been raped. If he had been a stronger person he could have saved himself and his brother. Cloud goes through a transformation of his own as well, he couldn't protect his baby brother and is torn up about it. But after Sora calls him out on it, he wakes up and accepts responsibility.

*To make it more clear, Sora is NOT being raped because of the way he dresses. Sora is being raped because he lost sight of himself and his own personality. Once he let people form his image, his life went downhill. He alienated his friends and twin brother and finally was raped. By not believing in himself, Sora was put in a situation to be raped. His strength of character (or lack thereof) determined his fate--not his clothing! Which is why in the end and at numerous times in the story, he hates the clothing because as he says, it's not 'him'. Eventually he realizes he's becoming someone else FOR a guy and realizes he only wants to be himself. So he tells Riku that for the past few days he's been letting other people run his life. If you notice, Sora's only truly happy when he's wearing his own clothing and making his own choices in life. His clothing style represents him losing his freedom and individuality because he's letting others make decisions for him!

Any feed back is welcome along with complaints. I feel like this ending isn't half as dramatic as it should have be.

Please check my website for more review responses! .com/


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